Dating For Always

Last Friday night, a friend invited me out to go flamenco dancing at Boom. I love the food there and I know they have really great live music occasionally (I was serenaded right out front on Spring Street by an older gentleman who sang there on Thursday nights. He wanted to court me. Serenading is a good way to start!) 

Ok, back to last Friday night. I was invited out by my friend, the woman who recently started this blog to celebrate the birthday of her friend, the photographer who shot the In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series that I was a part of in August (Kevin Bacon, I’m almost there). We ended up having dinner because the band got stranded upstate. There was only one band member who made it and he was, um, entertaining my friend when I arrived. Like I really felt like I was interrupting something. Sorry, buddy, didn’t mean to cock-block!

After my wine and Agnolotti Burro e Salvia, the conversations started to “take off”. You know the deal. After the whole, what do you do/where do you work, how do you know the birthday boy, we got down to the good stuff. I admit, I missed part of it because I was scouring the bar for a sexy European but another woman at the table asked my opinion on dating – how I felt about it, did I enjoy it et al.

“Yeah, I love dating!” She looked shocked by my answer. “It’s all about meeting new people. I love to meet new people.”

I told her (the group) that I can go on dates and not expect to marry the man afterwards or that we’ll even be in a relationship. I just enjoy the date.

“I just hate when you’re sitting there and you’re like trying to find something to talk about,” she countered.

I nodded in agreement, “Yeah, that happens, but that probably means you’re just not compatible with that person.” I elaborated on the joy of comfortable silences if you are in-sync with someone and how you don’t have to be the one doing all the talking. Listening is very important. You learn a lot about someone by just listening. If there's absolutely nothing to talk about, there's nothing wrong with ending a date early. By dating, you learn what qualities you're attracted to in other people and you also learn how to relate to others. If you are looking for a relationship, you can become pretty adept at seeing the signs; red flags look red from 100 miles away instead of pink at 50 feet.

I’ve had some really good dates; some very extravagant, some very casual, even the awkward or weird ones had their charm. There’s the day date, which is usually more casual or involves some sort of physical activity (get your mind outta the gutter). Day dates can also involve lunch or an early dinner. Then the dinner date or the night date, which is considered “more serious”. But like I explained at Boom as we were trying to decide what to do after dinner, “I’m fine coming out to dinner and then going right back home.”

I love a great friend date. A friend date can be a day date or a night date. It’s all about reconnecting with your friend or spending time with them because it’s bound to be fun and if you’re both adventurous, trying something new.

That being said, I have a few date ideas that I must experience this year. Some have been on my list for years. Enough waiting. Expect to be asked out soon. If you’re the type to take the initiative (hint-hint), you’ll get an enthusiastic ‘yes’ if you come up with your own idea or choose from this list:

• Weekend stroll in Manhattan or “The City” where we hit Namaste Bookshop, Eataly and maybe Highline Park
• Rollerjam. Yes, it’ll require a trip to Staten Island but it’s the only indoor roller skating rink left in New York City and the ride on the ferry could be fun.
• American Museum of Natural History for the Brain exhibit
• Old faithful “dinner and drinks”. Choose wisely. Or a cooking class. And please dress the part!
• Lesson at Trapeze school. That’s at the top of the list, but other activity dates I will accept: rock (or wall) climbing, AcroYoga, paintball

Add to the list flamenco dancing since we didn’t get to do that on Friday. I was looking forward to doing something new. Do you have any great date ideas?