Black, White and Grey

 

Not shying away from race, we sat in an Italian gelateria and openly discussed black and white. He's from the Midwest and feels at home when he visits NY. He's accepted here for being himself, regardless of his skin color or race that he identifies with.

He broke it down for me. Where he's from there's only black and white. Racially, but also where you live and how you act. The white people who act "black" are called "wiggers". The black people who act white are "Uncle Toms". I was familiar with the terminology although I don't hear them much in my circle. "So you're either black or white, but you, you're grey."

There are stereotypes and generalizations that persist; certain actions, behaviors and mannerisms are assigned to certain groups of people. Certain beliefs and ideologies are considered "normal" for one group and not the other. In his city of 297,000 he's considered weird because of his style of dress and lifestyle. His take? I'd be considered weird too.



In a world of black and white, I'm grey. That's one of the best compliments I've ever received.

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Race Relations in Motor City (Bar)

Last night, I ended up at Motor City Bar. I like that the vibe there is never pretentious, it's a great mix of clientele and it'll be the setting for my upcoming photo shoot (see: Graffiti Butt)

I had conversations with interesting men at the bar -- maybe because we didn't know one another we were more direct, more quickly. The underlying theme of our conversations: race.

"So whereabouts in Brooklyn are you from?"

I answered his question but later it hit me -- I didn't tell this man I was from Brooklyn. I asked how he knew I was "from Brooklyn" and he said he's been in NY for 25 years and has learned to "just tell". Moments before that, I tried to pinpoint the origin of his brogue. I guessed Ireland, he's Scottish.

Whitney, Religion and the GOP

I didn't watch Whitney Houston's funeral. I didn't have access to a feed. Over lunch, I checked my Twitter feed on my phone and saw tweets extolling on how beautiful the service was (in real-time of course), how they were being taken to "black church", how glad they were that CNN was broadcasting the service, a religious service, and that that was a good thing. Even some tweeters were pleased to the point of pissing in their pants that Jews and Muslims were being shown the ceremony and that made it a "great day for the world".


Not taking anything away from Whitney Houston's career and accolades, I understand the outpouring of affection and reverence. But it made me think about separation of church and state. There's already way too much religion in this election. The same religion that was broadcast by CNN is the same religion of Santorum. I listened to the simulcast of Face the Nation last week and was in shock at what that man was spewing. But his ideologies are the same of the church that so many on Twitter, so many Blacks, were praising. I've never quite understood Black Christians (my family included). Knowing the origin of why Blacks are Christian makes it hard for me to accept that religion as my own. Many accept it as the religion. That's their choice. I don't like it shoved down my throat.

Hottentot Makes Any Man's Eyes Pop

I found this magazine just sitting outside my apartment building last night. Just sitting there. I didn't dig in the garbage to find it. It was just there. Like a sign. Ass all over the place. I thought the timing was pretty uncanny considering I was just discussing on Twitter with @alvinthethird that I was pondering what my next erotic work of art would be because I received another request to make a sex tape and had just read some commentary on the Kim Kardashian spread in W magazine. No doubt, I want my project to be sensual as well as erotic and somewhat political -- make a statement.


I want to always be in control of my erotic art. And as an obvious extension of that, my body. If I want to pose nude, I will. If I want to sext with pics, I will. If I don't want to work with a particular photographer, I won't. It all boils down to my comfort, my mission and the joy of creating. 


Of course there were comparisons to J-Lo made with the whole Kardashian photo and whether or not a Black woman could get away with the same thing. Black women do it all the time. The question is the stigma attached to it. What made Kardashian any different? Her image is art because she didn't have a g-string disappearing between her cheeks for emphasis? We have butts. Some of us have big butts. Some of us have humongous butts. And thanks to magazines like the one pictured above, some Black women use those butts to earn a living and make a name for themselves. But what's in a name? What's behind (technically, in front of or on top of) the booty? When I was a personal trainer, I got most of my clients because of my butt. Many of them told me they wanted a butt like mine. I was never offended because they were never offensive. Sure, I had a shapely butt, but I also had the knowledge and experience to get them what they wanted or the sense to tell them it wasn't gonna happen no matter how many squats we did. 

Inherent Danger

Aiyana Jones, 7-years old. Shot dead at home, in her sleep by police. This story saddens me. And of course enrages me. And was definitely a trigger for my musings, both emotional & rational and objective.

I don’t have children yet but I envision myself charging the police to protect my child and ending up dead myself or imprisoned for assault on a police officer in a situation like that. I understand the training police undergo; if they feel threatened they defend themselves. After identifying themselves as police, and if the suspect is armed or poses a threat, and if the decision is made to discharge their weapons, they aim for center mass. This was clearly not the case in this situation. They were searching for a murder suspect. They obtained a no-knock warrant. Detroit police wanted to surprise and ambush the suspect so he wouldn’t be able to flee. That much is understandable. Only that.

My first thought after learning they were filming The First 48 while this atrocity took place was, “Let’s pray the unaltered footage ends up in the right hands.” The public doesn’t need to view what in essence is a snuff film, but the truth needs to come out. Reality TV was bound to kill someone sooner or later.

It's Not You, It's My Fear Of You

I had such a great belly laugh this afternoon. It’s amazing what people do when they feel threatened and are given a little power. What made me laugh this morning was news of my friend being fired from her job. I’m not cold and heartless…let me explain. She was fired by someone, who although they’re the COO of the company she works for, he has no right, power, authority to fire anyone. Within 5 minutes of arriving at work, he asked to speak to her in the hallway with the HR rep present (who was also confused and dumbfounded) and was told she was no longer an employee at the company and just as quickly he ran back inside the office. Apparently said COO failed to remember what his duties were and the relationship the newly “unemployed” had with the owner of the company. There has been tension brewing between the two parties for months. Her rise and increase in responsibilities and duties, and his increasing feelings of ineptness and uselessness. Right now, a paid day off is the reward until the situation is figured out. My guess, someone’s gotta go.

This is not going to work out between the two of you

Racist Vagina

I have a Rosa Parks coochie; it aint getting up off black dick for nothing. I figured I’d choose a well-known historical Black figure to illustrate my point. John Mayer caught major heat for saying he doesn’t like to partake in sexual congress with Black women. I don’t see a problem with that. I think folks took it real personal because he chose such a polarizing figure like David Duke to illustrate his racial preference in sexual partners. If he had said he didn’t like to have sex with fat girls or skinny bitches, there would’ve been a lot of nodding along while folks read that interview too. 




We all have our preferences. Some racial, some not. Some of us would never be as vocal about them but we have them. I’m sure before John Mayer, you’ve heard your friends or friends of friends say they “only date white girls” or they “only date black guys”. Having racial preferences is nothing new (neither is having preferences of any kind); It’s called “having a type”. And I believe some of the Black women who were snaking their necks and rolling their eyes don’t like white men anyway. What I had a problem with was Mr. Mayer talking about having a “nigger pass”...and that might be the only problem I had with his interview—keep that word out your mouth, Mr. Mayer…

Angry Big Sister

I received a call from my brother this evening. He started by telling me something funny then said he was angry. He explained this situation he’s been having at work – feels like they’re pushing him out. Big corporation got no respect or regard for the little guy. My brother is vocal. He will voice complaints without yelling or cursing or flailing his arm or threatening violence but I’ve seen my brother angry. I let him vent then gave my big sister advice while we cut the tension with jokes. He did mention that he remembered I told him that last time he had an issue at work not to carry on like the “Angry Black Man” – he’s likely to intimidate everyone and surely not get his point across or better working conditions or work relationships. I tried to reinforce that today and told him he needs an outlet for his anger. He said worked out. While we spoke on the phone he was on his inversion machine because his back had tightened up. He used to write tons of screenplays. That’s an idea we tossed around. I told him when he visits NY again I’d take him to one of the poetry events I frequent. “There’s tons of angry black men there. Write something so you could read, or just come and listen, get that sense of camaraderie. You may even find solutions in the words.”

A few hours later I was at Bowery Poetry Club witnessing creative genius or genius creatives. Taalam Acey (Mr. Manual Gesticulation that spits a mile a minute. I swear I can actually see the words waft out his mouth), Kasim Allah (whom I like to refer to as “King” accompanied with a curtsy every now and then in honor of his greatness), Ainsley Burrows (Jamaican Brethren who can prepare you for the verbal SATs just by listening to his poems) and Lamar Anthony Hill and Faraji Salim – two poets I just had the honor of being blessed by. The poems were sermons. There was one poem that made my eyes sting. Lamar Anthony Hill recited one about growing up without his father and finally forgiving him. At one point in the poem he said a woman cannot raise a boy into a man. I’ve been well aware of that fact and I’ve heard other poets say it before, but it just struck me tonight. What can a Big Sister do?

What Obama Didn't Say

Did Obama really have to apologize for making a self-deprecating joke about his bowling skills? He made the joke, the audience laughed. Why did the audience laugh? Because it was funny. Would athletes in the Special Olympics be allowed to compete against Usain Bolt or Shawn Johnson of the "Un-Special" Olympics? No, because the point of the Special Olympics is to allow disabled individuals (physically disabled, handicapped, mentally disabled, retarded, pick a word) to compete against people of similar skill levels. He may have even boosted the morale of some Special Olympians by equating himself with them, or implying that they could slaughter him in a game of bowling. Obama was not trying to insult anyone with the comment.

What's important is what Obama hasn't talked about. I am bothered by the fact that neither Obama or anyone from his administration (to my knowledge) has made a comment about the now infamous cartoon from the NY Post. For all intents and purposes, that was Obama in that cartoon, depicted as a chimp lying in a pool of blood with two bullet holes in it's chest. Obama has been a very vocal president. Any chance he got/gets he was/is calling a press conference to tackle the issue of the day. That NY Post cartoon was a major issue - the cartoon itself as well as the underlying issue it addressed - race. Could it be that Obama and/or his administration didn't want to say anything about the cartoon because it could be misconstrued as giving "the others" too much power? Was it not important? Ignore it and it goes away? It's not going to go away; "it" being the issue of race. Race is a major divisive issue in this nation. The height of the Civil Rights Movement was only 40 years ago. If race wasn't issue, it wouldn't matter that Obama got elected. His inauguration wouldn't have had historic attendance records and the television and internet viewing ratings. It wouldn't matter that Michelle Obama is the first Black First Lady. His ability to play basketball and his inability to dance wouldn't be a topic of discussion. His being president has the term "Black Love" being thrown around with abandon. 

I hope Obama can make all the positive changes on his agenda; repair the economy, reform the health care system, "green" the nation's major and minor industries etc and the fact that he's a Black man doing it, is an issue. Mr. President, we have to talk.