To Paula, From Bare Men

I welcome the direct notes and emails about Bare Men that I receive. To my relief, they are positive and supportive. Some people share their appreciation of the art, others are advocates of nudity, I hear from men who want to participate in the series, while others who contact me are explicit in their arousal upon viewing the photos.

A couple of the recent notes I've received recently:

"I was absolutely blown away by your Bare Men project and wanted to offer my sincere compliments. I found you on the website "Naked Men, Happy Women". It is a site I check out occasionally, and certainly your work just jumped right of the page! I do love your non-judgmental philosophy, not insisting on ideal or perfect body types. Your talent in this field is most evident!"

This one - Subject: Ekue's wisdom - I received from a man in the Midwest who was passionate about nudity the misconceptions surrounding it:

Abigail, I am a young man from Minnesota. Society deserves no apology for your support of nudity!!!

The human body is not indecent!!! It is a gift which provides opportunities for its occupants to pursue good lives. We all pretty much have the same bodies. We are born nude, we dress nude, we shower nude.....and under our clothes we are nude. Pornography also is absent when particular persons issue zero portrayal of sexual material (for arousal). 

Don't Break His Face in Case of Emergency

Photo: Ruth Fremson/The New York Times

If you were in New York City last night, Saturday, February 13 and tried to catch a downtown A or C train between 9:30 and 11 PM, you were assed out. The train I was on was the cause of the delay. The train car I was in on the A Train - 6129 - was the cause of the delay. The white man I gave that "don't sit near me" look to was the cause of the delay. He pulled the emergency brake.

I didn't know that when I first looked at him. He merely looked slightly left of center and I didn't want to be bothered. He was coherent and lucid enough to know what my look meant and kept it moving to the next set of seats.

Then I heard chatter from the center of the car - "he did it" "yeah, that white dude right there" "emergency brake" "that nigga right there"

I looked towards the people talking, "What? This dude pulled the emergency brake?" I asked motioning at him with my thumb.

"Yeah!" I saw the red cord pulled at the other end of the car and then shot a death glare at the man. Another woman sitting at the opposite end of the car, on the other side of him, asked what was going on.

"This man right here," I pointed wishing the power of anger behind my menacing point would pierce his eyeball, "pulled the fucking emergency brake."

She went off too.

And we sat there.

Somewhere between 125th and 59th street. In the tunnel.

Dude, Your Privilege is Showing

I'm going to pass on today. Juggling money and time this week. Sorry for the last min! Maybe next week when finances are better! I sent that message to a potential date. The night before I told him I could give him an answer in the morning on whether or not we'd meet that day or later date (I was waiting to see if a direct deposit would go through).

When I say no, I mean no. I don't say, "no, not this time", or "you're really nice but, no", or even "no, thank you". In this situation I said I'd pass and when my finances were better we could meet.

I thought I was pretty clear. He even got more of an explanation than I usually give most people.


His cherry-topped response: Boo.. I think you are getting cold feet. It's happy hour, $20 would go a long way...


That's when I knew I was dealing with one of those men, a bro in gentleman's clothing up until the point they don't get what they want. 

Bare Men featured on Refinery29

Those who are not new to my blog or my work know I've been working on a male nude series, Bare Men, and that it's been a bit of a challenge getting my work exhibited. Who knew penis was so scary?

However...

I'm very excited that a major US-based media outlet has covered my series!  Please check out the latest piece on my male nude series, Bare Men, on Refinery29 -- 

12 Honest, Vulnerable (NSFW) Photos Of Naked Men

"In general, men don't need any more visibility in mainstream culture than they already have. But Bare Men strikes a different chord. Rather than exult the naked male form, Ekue normalizes and neutralizes it. These images don't attack or threaten us; rather, they put us in the position of voyeur, even intruder... After all, how often do we catch men in such a state? What changes when we see a man without his guard up, flaccid and imperfect? Stripped of everything from their clothes to their class, these subjects appear simply as men in their bodies."

The writer, Sara Coughlin did a wonderful job on the introduction, capturing the essence of the series and sharing her take on the images. As an artist, I also appreciate not being misquoted!

Movember ManGroomer Giveaway - #MowMyMo

We're 5 days in, how's your moustache looking?


Movember is a global charity that's all about men growing moustaches (and those who support them) to raise money and awareness for Men's Health -- prostate and testicular cancer and mental health.


For some men this is the only time of year you sport an artistic upper lip warmer. Mo Bros, once Movember is over you may need something to mow your face. That's where I come in.


I'm giving away a Mangroomer® Ultimate Pro Body Groomer and a Stainless Steel Detail Groomer® ($79.98 total retail value)

He Said, She Said

I'm sharing this quick exchange. Part of scene from a story or screenplay? Dialogue with tension and conflict help move a story along, establish dynamic relationships, set up characters' likability and relatability. A "getting to know you" text exchange gone awry? 21st century relationships barely live but do die due to misread messages and, for some, the emoticons they deem necessary.

A Random Moment With A Proud Owner Of A Micropenis (NSFW)

Martin, proud owner of a  micropenis

I stumbled on to his tumblr, Martin's Tiny Penis, a few months ago via reblogs. Martin has a micropenis and is proud of it. I am always intrigued by bodies, their owners and the relationship people have with/in their bodies.  He has a willingness to show himself and answer questions and reply to the comments from tumblr followers. I had a few questions of my own which he was happy to answer.


NSFW photos after the jump...

*   *   *

How to Get Him to Commit to You

I downloaded How to Get Him to Commit to You Over and Over in 7 Easy Steps and Think It's His Idea by John Alanis this weekend when the free download link was on my Kindle. Free? Ok, can't hurt. Plus I had to read what a man would tell women about getting men to commit.

Turns out he told the truth. The hard truth. The truth your "head-in-the-real-world" girl friends probably told you before but you didn't heed.

Here are the things I was totally on board with:

Been There, Done French

I was talking to a guy about travel. Naturally, Paris came up in the conversation. I told him it would've been great if I had visited Paris in my 20's but that I was also glad to be going now as a full-fledged adult. I'd have a better handle on the language, and what to expect from the locals (namely the men). I won't be seduced, instead I'd choose the man I want and then let him think he seduced me.


The guy I was speaking with isn't from NY so I asked him if he'd heard of the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case (DSK is now counter-suing the hotel maid he is accused of sexually assaulting). He had vague knowledge of the case and I explained to him what I'd learned, while researching the DSK scandal, about the sexual entitlement French men seem to exhibit -- the séducteur. How much of that is actually "fah real", he asked.


Let me share the story I shared with him.

Shall We Dance?

"Do you dance?" he asked.

"What do you mean, like in general?" I asked. "Yeah, I dance."

"Do you dance to this kind of music?" The music playing was 30's, 40's & 50's swing, jazz and blues.

"No, I've never danced to this."

He extended his hand, "Shall we?"


After the Holiday Shops Opening event, that is how I ended my Thursday evening in Bryant Park under a crystal clear sky and waxing gibbous moon. He looked harmless enough, Ray did. That's his name. Ray. I didn't get a last name. Black gentleman of 60. He led me through the basics of the Lindy Hop and foxtrot. An audience formed, some snapping photos of us. When I caught on to the steps, he added kicks and spins. "Some times the man flips the woman over his head..."

I Didn't Ask To See Your Penis

Note: The above was NOT forcibly removed
"Storm Drain", Man. Toy.

These men...no matter how old, they just love to whip it out

That's a text message I received from a girlfriend after I told her I'd received a dick pic seconds before. I replied to her: Yeah! It's like their badge or something!


Men and their penises.

They love to show them off.

Even when you didn't plead to see it.

Even if they've never met you.

Waving The Red Flag

My online dating experiment continues...


I received this note in response to one I sent after reading someone's post/profile:

Hey Abigail,

Thanks for answering my little post. I forgot to mention something that may be very important to you: I'm short. 5'7 ... just thought I'd mention it. ;)

By the way, I try to stay fit also. I run every day. And try to avoid unhealthy stuff. It's too easy to let yourself go. And it's depressing to throw your health away. I think most American are obese because they're sad. It's just filling a void.

Table Manners

I had a meal with a man on Friday. As we walked through the LES we decided to go to Clinton Street Baking Company. So far so good. Chose the Chicken and Waffles off the menu. Ok, nothing to report about there. Then dinner was served.

He ate like a Neanderthal (no disrespect to any other Neanderthals who may be reading this). He attacked the chicken like it wasn't already dead. I took a photo of my plate and sent it to a friend who I'd made plans with the night before to go Clinton Street Baking for that very meal next week. By the time I looked up from my cell phone, he'd already devoured two pieces of the half chicken we were served, grease and food all over his face.

It's A Small WWE Universe

The WWE Universe is vast yet small. Especially to a die hard fan and in New York. On Sunday morning, September 11, on my way home from my doggy weekend, I boarded a bus. I noticed a man sitting in the back. He had a very familiar face. I stole glances and got caught looking several times. I was trying to figure out where I knew him from. My initial thought was his name was Vladimir. I remember him from the 1980's and 1990's--he was always at ringside at all the then-WWF PPV's and house shows at Madison Square Garden. I learned his name when he was featured in the then-WWF magazine.

Mixers And The Single Woman

Recently I found out about a mixer/meet-up. I emailed the invite to a few friends to see who'd be interested in going. Geraldine and I decided to venture to the Empire Hotel on a Friday night.


I rarely go to mixers. Well, mixers that are advertised as mixers. I attended one earlier this year hosted by WTF Is Up With My Love Life. The object was to find new members for your gaggle. Admittedly, I was more interested in boosting my career.

The Time I Felt I Couldn't Hollaback

Bumper Sticker by Holly Kearl

On my way home after a wonderful night, two men took it upon themselves to ruin my mood. Friday evening, I had a great time at Word Up pop-up bookshop. I read that evening, listened to other authors, poets and musicians, and after the event, spent time with a new acquaintance.


The train ride home was uneventful. Not one drunk or vagabond to speak of. The train made all stops. It was a little after 4am on Saturday morning before I got back to my neighborhood. I've done this a million times before. About a block away from the train station a car pulled up along side the parked cars, slowing to about 5 miles an hour to keep pace with me. The passenger called out to me something to the effect that I shouldn't be alone and asked if he could walk with me. I knew the tone. He wasn't trying to be a gentleman. I kept pace and looked sidelong at him. He continued to speak but rage was drowning out whatever he was saying.

Cidade de Deus (City Of God)

Men will be boys and the power of photography

Flixster - Share Movies

Zé is ugly. He's drug dealer and gangster in 1970's Rio. Never learned to read. Socially awkward, not sure how to handle his feelings so he resorted to violence.


Those are some of the conclusions I drew while watching Cidade de Deus (2002).

SBF Seeks Alpha Male

I haven't worn a bra in weeks. I lost mine. I own others but I just don't feel like wearing those. I have a love-hate relationship with bras. So when I find one that I actually like, I hold on because she holds me. I lost my bra because a man told me to take it off. Why did I take it off because he told me? Because he told me to.

I was slightly intoxicated and accepted a ride from a friend. Seconds after entering his vehicle he turned to me and told me he'd been thinking about hooking up for a while. I was surprised but I continued to listen.

"So this is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna drive you someplace first and then I'll take you home." He turned to face the road and pulled out of the parking space. If I didn't know him, I could've called the police for fear of being abducted.

Wanted Men Wanted

So I had a vague idea come to me about 2 weeks ago. A word collage of quotes. I wondered, no, I wanted to know what made men feel wanted. Often times there are talk shows and articles and blogs about women and their wants, needs, desires. But what about men? Surely, they wanted to feel wanted. And since I was questioning it, did men feel wanted by their families, friends, lovers, coworkers, society?

The Verdict On Courting

“Seeing you feels like flowers growing in my heart.”

Those were the first words this old(er) gentleman; we’ll call Mr. Ray, said to me as I walked down Spring Street in SoHo. The comment did make me slow down and smile. He asked my name and we shook hands. Then he said that seeing me made him feel like…this is where he started singing “Shining Star” to me. I really like that song. Have I ever had a stranger serenade me on the street before? No. Did I want the attention? Eh…it’s New York. The folks at the table in the restaurant right behind us looked for a few seconds then went back to their conversation. Mr. Ray wants to be my friend. He said he’d court me if I let him. He loves to go out. He invited me back to the restaurant where he’ll be performing Doo Wop (he totally dated himself) and also said he’d buy me dinner.