Women, Let's Get Paid Like Hillary Clinton

As soon as I heard the report on 880 AM this morning about Colin Powell's email account getting hacked I was bothered. I felt uncomfortable and I also sucked my teeth. I was reacting to his comments about Hillary Clinton. He shared in emails that he lost a speaking gig because of Hillary Clinton--her speaking fee was too high. He said she screws things up with hubris and blasts Clinton for having 'unbridled ambition' (and to think she's not as 'loud' as she could be!).


Again, I was overcome with an instant feeling of discomfort and annoyance.


I don't know Clinton's speaking fee. That's not the point. What I thought about was how Powell was implying that she was charging more than she is worth.


Here's a man who's upset that a woman 'cost him money'. I wonder what's the going rate for politicians to speak at universities. How much are men getting paid?


Clinton was the Secretary of State--you gotta pay for that. She's a former senator--you gotta pay for that. She has a postgraduate law degree--you gotta pay for that and she's had a professional career (experience) before getting into politics--you gotta pay for that.

"I am not an imposter. I am a professional. I am worthy of praise... and higher rates." To my fellow female entrepreneurs #impostersyndrome

— Abigail Ekue (@abigailwrites) September 2, 2016

Please Remit Payment To

I'm sure this has happened to you: you find a charming restaurant, get all excited about the menu, the ambiance, the "there's something about them" staff and decide to dine at the establishment. Then you're hit with the cash-only edict that you missed earlier. If you really want to eat at that restaurant, an ATM run is usually the next step. Do you ask that they accept your payment via credit card? I have never witnessed someone try to convince a cash-only restaurant to accept their credit or debit card. Perhaps it's happened but I've never been privy to that. Once you've agreed to enter into a business relationship with that restaurant you pay according to their terms.


If your boss told you, "I'm not comfortable signing your checks so I will pay you with a gift card", would that go over well with you?


Didn't think so.

Abortion and Uterine Politics

Abortion is a violent act? A woman shouldn't be able to have an abortion after being rape because that would be more violence? Pregnancy as a result of rape is what God intended? Abortion is as immoral as slavery?


If abortions are restricted or made illegal again and we return to the days of knitting needles and hangers, that will be violent. Pro-lifers killing doctors who perform abortions, bombing clinics and terrorizing their patients with Photoshopped images, that's violent.

The Argument Over Street Harassment



Courtesy of Cats Against Catcalling

After a male friend said, "Nice glasses" to a woman as we walked by he asked me if that was harassment. Recently, and repeatedly, I've called him out on his behavior in the street. He harasses women. He doesn't see it as such. The latest explanation from him to me was that woman like the attention and if they don't want it or don't want anyone to say anything to them they should stay home.


This is where I grind my teeth, clench my fists...


He continued: that those women should go home and play with themselves because if you (meaning men) don't say anything to them, they get an attitude that no one is paying attention to them. I countered that motherfuckers who harass women are the ones who need to go play with themselves because it's sexual harassment; it's a need to objectify and gain power or even a release over these women.


This is where he says I'm getting all feminist on him.

Open Your Legs, Ladies

Madonna is always opening her legs.



During a conversation in which a friend gave me the play-by-play of the Grammy's (I didn't watch), it segued to Glen Campbell being one of the best performances of the night. I chalk that up to him being from an era where you had to perform and entertain the crowd with talent. This led us to Madonna. I said my last memory of an awards show is Madonna performing "Vogue" and the moment she lifted the bottom of her Victorian gown to "bump and grind it".


I grew excited talking about her "Don't Tell Me" video (male dancers and crotch-watching opportunities) and of course, "Human Nature". That scene where she sits with her legs open and slowly slides her thighs together and snaps them shut. Love it (not to mention the entire video and the message of the song).


Express yourself, don't repress yourself

That's when I made the statement, "Madonna is always opening her legs."



I do too. It's such a comfortable posture. It provides stability. It can be sensual and sexual, depending on context.


And it's frowned upon.

Pregnancy, Exercise and Beyoncé

The above showed up on my Tumblr timeline this week. The reblogs and likes included comments like, "I can't believe she just had a baby!", "How can she look like that after giving birth!", "My goal is to look like Beyoncé", "Told you she was never pregnant!"


Why is it expected that a woman will look like a shell of her former self after giving birth? Yes, there will be changes in her body after pregnancy and childbirth but it's unusual for her to be "in shape" or "look good"? The way the body handles the changes (and trauma) of pregnancy varies from woman to woman. One factor that makes the "recovery" easier (and apparently, astonishing to some) is exercise.


Beyoncé was in great shape before she became pregnant. She joined the Let's Move! Initiative which encourages physical activity and educates on the importance of exercise. I'm assuming she remained active during and that exercise (dance, weights, yoga, whatever) will be a part of her life now that she's a mother. I hung out with a friend about 2 weeks after she gave birth and it didn't strike me as odd that she looked like she did before she got pregnant. Genetics do play a role, but activity is a huge part of it. She exercised on a regular basis for years before becoming a mother.

Cyber Contact And Communication

Before the internet, there's no doubt people were curious about how their exes, one-night stands, could-have-beens or former friends were doing after they'd come and gone from their lives but they didn't have the means to find out without hiring a PI or asking a friend of a friend. There wasn't instant access to someone's day-to-day life. Nowadays, there's frequent trolling of someone's Facebook page, Twitter stream or coincidentally running into someone at the location they just checked-in on Foursquare (that last part is their own fault). I even know folks who get somewhat irritated or annoyed if they log-on to check-up on a former down-low and there are no recent posts; there's an expectation that the "ex" will keep them in the loop with updates. Then the freak out begins: What's up? They not using Facebook anymore? What are they doing? Who are they with?

The Time I Felt I Couldn't Hollaback

Bumper Sticker by Holly Kearl

On my way home after a wonderful night, two men took it upon themselves to ruin my mood. Friday evening, I had a great time at Word Up pop-up bookshop. I read that evening, listened to other authors, poets and musicians, and after the event, spent time with a new acquaintance.


The train ride home was uneventful. Not one drunk or vagabond to speak of. The train made all stops. It was a little after 4am on Saturday morning before I got back to my neighborhood. I've done this a million times before. About a block away from the train station a car pulled up along side the parked cars, slowing to about 5 miles an hour to keep pace with me. The passenger called out to me something to the effect that I shouldn't be alone and asked if he could walk with me. I knew the tone. He wasn't trying to be a gentleman. I kept pace and looked sidelong at him. He continued to speak but rage was drowning out whatever he was saying.

What's Next, President Obama?

Official White House Photo by Pete Souza

By now, I'm sure you've heard that Osama Bin Laden was located and killed. This plan was in motion for months; this past week was the climax or the last 20 minutes of the movie I'm sure is to follow.

This past week, Donald Trump was determined to be a nuisance to the president. The president couldn't be the president because he wasn't born in said country he's president of.

Don't have time for this silliness

Navy SEALs are making strategic plans under the direction of their commander-in-chief to capture Geronimo.

Are Mom Jeans My Destiny?

I've owned a pair of Levi's Signature jeans for years. While packing up my life recently, I stuck that pair of jeans in the bag with the rest of my denim. Smart move. I have a short waist as it is so regular rise or "classic" rise jeans are hit-or-miss. The waist of the Levi's practically chafes my armpits so I've never worn them. Until yesterday.


Every single pair of jeans I own is sporting the now trademark rips and slits on the inner thigh. I've completely busted through the seam on quite a few pairs. So I was forced to buy a pair of jeans on Friday. Not something I budgeted for but it had to be done. Last year, I had a painful breakup with Express when I couldn't find a fit that fit. I went back to Old Navy.

Show Yourself

Recently there's been some rumbling on my Twitter timeline about anonymous Tweeters--those who hide behind Twitter handles that don't have their real names (or part of their name) and those who don't use a real photo as their avatar or a photo at all (I don't acknowledge eggs).


I agree wholeheartedly that there should be some true representation of yourself in social media. Some people feel putting up a photo of yourself is "too much". Posting your photo doesn't mean you're sharing your SSN, or home address on Twitter (or Facebook). If you're that paranoid, stay off the web.


There's also that anonymous person on social media who hides behind the screen and antagonizes or simply annoys everyone, trolls posts to pick fights but not (hu)man enough to stand behind their words.


When I attend events, I run into people I already know in real life. Sometimes I also meet people who I've had extensive interaction with online. I know this because I recognize them from their avatars. Folks who approach me because they recognize me yet I've never seen their face don't get the same warm reception. That shouldn't surprise them; we gravitate towards people we know, people we are comfortable with. You're starting from scratch if you've remained anonymous despite the comments you've left on someone's FB photos or the fact that you've retweeted them a few times (read: incessantly). There won't be the same bond between two people who know what the other looks like.


It's proven that the more you're exposed to someone's face, the longer you view it, the more you'll view it favorably and even form a bond.


It's social media, it'd be nice to know who I'm socializing with.

*   *   *

Japan

I've been following the developments of the Japan earthquake, the resulting tsunami and the aftershocks that are still hitting the island nation. It's all very sobering. The magnitude of this natural disaster is surreal. The main island of Japan has shifted 2 meters as a result. Let's hope Shinmoedake volcano doesn't add to the devastation in southern Japan. Despite all that humans do to the earth to make life supposedly easier for ourselves, the earth strikes back, showing us just how small we are. When you consider the fact that the continents were created from volcanoes and earthquakes, it puts everything into perspective.

Random Rant On My Job Hunt

I haven't shared any stories of my time being unemployed or on the job hunt because there hasn't been much happening. CVs and resumes sent. Nothing in response. Moments of "this job would be perfect for me!" followed by nothing. Meh. I did get a call back from a physical therapy clinic informing me I was overqualified. I was underwhelmed. Is underemployment the only option?

In January, I was contacted by reps from Infinity Consulting Solutions, Inc and Axion LLC, respectively. Anyone have any experience with them? They found my resume online and had positions for me. They called and emailed to set up interviews. My resume was even included in one of the emails they sent with particular skills and phrases highlighted, so it was apparent that they had indeed found and reviewed my resume. I returned the calls and the emails, more than once. No response.

Random Musings on Empty Vaginas

image source

I didn't choose celibacy. I didn't choose abstinence.

A girl friend recently referred to me as a nun. Me! A nun!

Yesterday I threw out 4 jars of chocolate body frosting (assorted flavors). Why? They expired.

Circumstances have left it so that I haven't had sex in 2011. You may be thinking that's only about a month and a half. I didn't have sex on December 31. No words can express how unnatural this is for me.

Masturbation helps. Exercise helps. They do not cure.

I need food. I need sleep. I need... it.

I Can Take No For An Answer

It hit me the other day that I don't pitch articles nearly as much as I used. Actually, I think it's been almost a year. This is not because I don't want any more of my articles published, it's due to the lack of response. As a writer, I get rejections all the time. That's not an issue. It's the silence that makes the whole process seem pointless and somewhat discouraging. I live by, "You won't know until you ask" and "Ask and ye shall receive" as played out in my life on numerous occasions.


Just say 'no.' Seriously, I can take it.

Still Cursing The Name Christopher Columbus...

So we were taught that Christopher Columbus discovered America on his way looking for a new trade route to India but went the wrong way. He got here, marveled at the land the people, spread word back to Spain and the rest is history. "America"; North, Central and South are believed to be named after Amerigo Vespucci. Ok, so far, I got the gist of it. 


Then anthropologists and Columbus haters said the land bridge between Asia and North America (Russia and present-day Alaska) is what brought the indigenous people to this continent. Ok, works for me. Human history dictates that ancient man was nomadic. We searched for food and shelter at the whim and the weather and animals we depended on for food and clothing.

Geez, Glee!

"Shut up!"


Sue Sylvester to Rachel and Sunshine, the new exchange student, singing in the bathroom.


That's exactly how I felt! Why were they singing? Musicals have always been inherently corny to me. But I had some wonderful moments watching Glee last season. Even some teary-eyed moments as those kids sang there way to Regionals. But geez, during the first quarter of the season premiere I said to myself I don't know if I can watch this season. I felt weird watching them perform "Empire State of Mind". Maybe I'm just getting too old for it. Any time they sing a current Top 40 hit, (is there still a Top 40?) I have no clue what song they're singing. They also referred to U2 as "classic rock" last season so maybe I'm still hurt by that.


I must say they are bold and pushing the envelope (like FOX tends to do) with all the racial, gender and sexual themes -- a female football coach (who I thought was Tanaka from last season after a sex change) named Beiste (pronounced "beast"), the young Steven Tyler look-a-like not sure how many balls he can fit into his big mouth (but I think he wants to fit something that belongs to Finn in his), etc. There are a lot of references to persons, places and things being gay and we can't forget the flamboyant gay guy who's into fashion with his fat, Black fag hag named Mercedes (a step-up or down from being named Lexus?). Last season, the clichés weren't so blaring to me, or maybe I just accepted them more. Television is a reflection and commentary of society. So I guess high school is just that mean-spirited, cruel and corny. Then I started thinking about the alternative high schools where everyone's "out"; boys, girls and bois -- what's the environment like in those schools?


Conclusion: Glee is a mature, satirical, after-school special - go figure. Knowing me, I'll probably still have Glee marathons to catch up on episodes on hulu. Besides, Nationals are gonna be in New York!


"Empire State of Mind" New Directions Style...

Try These On For Size

I didn't leave home this morning intending to buy jeans, but the pair I was wearing (and all the pairs I have at home) are fading fast. I've worn through the inner thighs and they've been patched up and now I'm going through the patches.  My inner thigh flesh oozes out like sausage escaping its casing in other pairs. My thighs rub together and I walk A LOT. They really have started making jeans differently. Something with the inner seams... but whatever. Point is, I ended up at Express. I know my size and the cut and don't have to try anything on.


Not today! Their Eva (which used to be Curvy fit, Regular Rise) are still Curvy fit, but now run in Mid-Rise. I stay away from low rise, because they're too low to cover my rise. I took down my 10 Short off the shelf and they did look a little smaller than I remembered. Luckily I decided to try them on. I had "my" camera with me because I was taking photos in Central Park earlier. I set the timer and got to changing and trying. Trying. One pair, the CURVY couldn't even go all the way up. 


The Stella fit... like a pair of leggings. No thanks. The floor attendant approached me and asked if everything fit OK. I explained to him my "dilemma". I showed him that the pair of jeans I was wearing were Express jeans and didn't fit at all like the ones I tried on and said they must've changed the cut of the jean slightly. After he listened to me, we decided I should try size 12. He called back to the stockroom and no they didn't have 12 Short. I figured I could just get my friend to hem them for me.

King Joke

A primetime special to announce what team he’ll play for… ridiculous. It’s bad enough we’ll get the play-by-play and Monday morning quarterbacks. A press conference, ok, I can deal with that. But this? His reps reached out to ESPN and James obviously agreed to it. Thanks, I appreciate that they’re donating the proceeds to the Boys & Girls Club (you should be donating to charities anyway). I won’t watch it but I know it’ll be hard to escape the hoopla especially if he decides to play for the Knicks or the Nets who’ll be moving to Brooklyn.

This is a basketball player. And he’s paid millions of dollars to do it.  I’m not saying someone shouldn’t have the opportunity to make a living off their talent but we don’t pay teachers and doctors anywhere near what they’re worth. And we wonder why so many young Black men wanna be ballers. When’s the last time we celebrated Dr. Benjamin Carson? As an ATC I would never make a fraction of what James makes and my job is to keep him healthy so he can continue to play.

I love athletes. I think what we, as a society, pay them is exorbitant. Look how much we pay movie stars. The president’s salary keeps rising. Clearly, we’re willing to pay a lot to be entertained.

The Ties That Bind (or Give Me Free)

The New York Times reported earlier this week that NYS divorce law is about to change. New York State is the only state that doesn’t grant no-fault divorce. The plaintiff must prove cruel and inhuman treatment, abandonment or adultery or the couple must be legally separated for a year before a divorce is granted. What about those of us whose relationships are simply over?

I’ve been in limbo for almost 4 years. I am a single woman who when I meet someone new feels compelled to explain why they may see mail around my place with a hyphenated last name. Or thinking about the future, what if we want to do the “I do”, we won’t be able to. I’m not a fan of long, drawn out divorce battles. Some may consider divorce an easy out when things get rough. They may believe that couples should “stay together for the children” or they take “till death do you part” literally, are willing to spend years in counseling that doesn’t work or just become apathetic to their spouses. Pish posh. Some relationships end.