A New Yorker Not From New York

Abigail Ekue Photography

"I’ve learned I don’t care for people who say they’re from New York when they’re not. If you’ve lived here 13 years -- or even just eight years -- you can call yourself a New Yorker, but you can’t say you’re from New York."

That statement by David Blend in his post, "What I Learned Living in NYC for 13 Years" received an audible, "yes!" response from me.


I'm sensitive about some things. That is one of them. People who live here are New Yorkers. There's a reason we specify "Native New Yorker" and "New Yorker". Being from New York means something, considering our numbers are shrinking. I am from New York. I even have my own lawn! (well not really, but you get the idea)



What else did I agree with David on?


There really are a lot of Jews in New York. Including Black Jews. I wonder if he's visited or spent time in the Orthodox and/or Hasidic communities in Brooklyn. I've had immediate next door neighbors erect sukkahs (Crown Heights, I miss you!). I drove through Williamsburg on the night of Purim this past March -- a whole 'nother world.

Ask Abbie: My Wife, Masturbation Or Cheating?

11 years together. 9 years of very little sex. Now on the verge of stepping out on his wife, who is pregnant, for the first time...

 

Empty-inside Ed Asks:

Hi. Ok this is kind of weird but i will give it a try...

I'm 33. Been married 6 years, but have been living with my wife for 11 years. We have a young son and she is pregnant again. Love her, love the family etc.

Anyway, the only issue that comes between my wife and I is sex. I want a lot of it, she could care less. It's been that way after our first 2 years together. The beginning of our relationship was great sex-wise. But now we're entering into year 9 of slim-pickings. 

Ask Abbie: How Can I Tell If She's Lying?

He contacted me with this question: How can I tell if she's lying? 

This one goes deeper than lies...

Whipped Willie Asks: 

Ok I need some advice. I'm a dude. Basically imma wrap a long ass story short...I met a girl on craigslist. Wanted me to critique her work. She ends up asking me to make love to her. Typical of me, I did. Says the sex was the most beautiful experience ever. Whatever. I get attached. She gets addicted. 

Been There, Done French

I was talking to a guy about travel. Naturally, Paris came up in the conversation. I told him it would've been great if I had visited Paris in my 20's but that I was also glad to be going now as a full-fledged adult. I'd have a better handle on the language, and what to expect from the locals (namely the men). I won't be seduced, instead I'd choose the man I want and then let him think he seduced me.


The guy I was speaking with isn't from NY so I asked him if he'd heard of the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case (DSK is now counter-suing the hotel maid he is accused of sexually assaulting). He had vague knowledge of the case and I explained to him what I'd learned, while researching the DSK scandal, about the sexual entitlement French men seem to exhibit -- the séducteur. How much of that is actually "fah real", he asked.


Let me share the story I shared with him.

Synchronicity

Photo By: William Perls

There are coincidences in life.

I'm aware of them.

Last week, I was introduced to the term for those coincidences that are a bit more - synchronicity.


We stood on Rivington Street and discussed art, philosophy and metaphysics. BEAU commented on how small the world is and that his life is full of synchronicity lately. Turns out I went to one of his shows in February 2010 and here we were meeting again, so I agreed with the small world observation; lately I can go anywhere and run into someone I know. Even in the most unexpected places. We're all connected somehow. At one point during the brain-bending conversation BEAU shared his belief that life may be already planned for us. Not by any particular religious deity but that there is a predestined plan. That was a Monday night.

Random Rant On My Job Hunt

I haven't shared any stories of my time being unemployed or on the job hunt because there hasn't been much happening. CVs and resumes sent. Nothing in response. Moments of "this job would be perfect for me!" followed by nothing. Meh. I did get a call back from a physical therapy clinic informing me I was overqualified. I was underwhelmed. Is underemployment the only option?

In January, I was contacted by reps from Infinity Consulting Solutions, Inc and Axion LLC, respectively. Anyone have any experience with them? They found my resume online and had positions for me. They called and emailed to set up interviews. My resume was even included in one of the emails they sent with particular skills and phrases highlighted, so it was apparent that they had indeed found and reviewed my resume. I returned the calls and the emails, more than once. No response.

C-List Will Get You Every Time

image source

Should we feel sorry for Rep. Christopher Lee?

He trolled Craigslist. Answered an ad. Lied in his emails. Sent photos. I applaud him for not sending a dick pick first. I don't know about you, but I can't ID a man by his dick on the first date.

I've done the CL thing years ago with some very interesting results. Enough that two of the experiences are inspiration for stories in my book. I've never had any scary or dangerous situations thankfully, and got it out of my system before anything bad did happen.

Now there's buzz over the fact that the woman who revealed Lee's secret is Black.

Break On Through To The Other Side

I started nude modeling in 2006. Great experiences, some a bit wacky, luckily none scary or dangerous. Now I’m on the other side of the lens. I shot my first art nude model last Wednesday night. I got the (paid) gig through Craigslist. That’s actually where I got my first modeling gig as well. That photo shoot was paid too and resulted in one of my favorite shots wearing a fishnet dress.

I Survived Craigslist

I used to meet folks off CL (circa 2005). Either I posted an ad or answered ads in "strictly platonic", "women seeking men" or "men seeking women". I was depressed and seeking something. I started to notice it was the same people posting ads and answering, repeatedly. Maybe they hadn't found a victim yet(victim in any sense of the word). A reporter on WABC radio was murdered after posting an ad for rough sex on craigslist (I'm assuming under "casual encounters"). The teen who answered his ad had a MySpace page that showcased his love of knifes (he stabbed the reporter 50 times) and sadomasochist view and lifestyle.

When I used CL, I googled people all the time. That's just my need to know what's what and who's who and how shit's supposed to go down. Any emails from anonymous addresses like "lovegun72@aol.com" or "nycblack@hotmail.com" got no response. After the 3rd or 4th time of getting an email, it was an automatic delete. The circumstances of the reporter's murder probably surprised those close to him who had no clue of his "other" life. The internet makes it easy to hide behind a computer screen. The internet also puts everything out there; just takes a little digging sometimes. I always do my research.