Ask Abbie: In Love With Another Woman

In Love With Another Woman Asks:

I am turning 52 this month. I've been happily married for nearly 25 years, we have three kids, the youngest of whom is 14, the oldest in college. I work at home, and several years ago, with my wife's full knowledge and consent, I hired a friend of ours, a mom I'll call Karen, to help me with my business. We got along fine, it was good for my business, a strictly working relationship, and she left after about 2 years to take a full time job.

She was a friend to both of ours, and she still came over often after her job ended, our kids were pals, etc. We walked dogs together. On one of these walks, she gave me a letter, asking me to read it later. When I did, it told me that she loved me, but she knew I was married, and that she couldn't keep relating to me the same way. We could no longer be friends.

The problem is, I'd fallen in love with her as well. I rushed to her and told her so. We spent a month talking tearfully back and forth before my wife found out. She was outraged, naturally, and I stopped all communication with Karen.

Ask Abbie: Passion For the Bottle...Not Him

Passionless and Unfulfilled Asks:

Hi - I'm involved in what can charitably be called a passionless marriage. My wife doesn't sleep in the same room as me. She has certain personal habits, specifically heavy drinking, which turn me off. It's a cliche, but by now, I stay in it for the kids. On the plus side they're 17 and 20, and will soon be on their own. Yet if I divorce, my wife will have no means of support and would probably wind up on the street. Despite my frustration, I don't want to leave her to fate for what I consider an addiction, but one she refuses to even acknowledge.


In terms of my owns needs and desires, I do have a sex drive which is very unfulfilled My question to you is, do you think it would be cheating for me to find sex outside of marriage? I'm attracted to many women I see, but I can't get myself to follow up with them. I appreciate any advice you have.

Ask Abbie: Always A Cheater, Never Alone

Lost Asks:

Okay ....I'm a 39 year old man married for over 15 years....I have 2 kids who I love...Now here's my problem. ...I've never been faithful to my wife. She knows about the other women...but I promised every time to leave them alone... I've always looked and found someone to have sex with have fun with. ...everything you're supposed to do with your wife. I've had several girls on the side but one in particular has been there for years, over 10.... I know shame on me. ...I've wanted to leave and be with her but I would chicken out...Now that I really want to, she doesn't.... My question is how do you move on to loving your wife and not the other woman? Please help me...Signed lost..

Ask Abbie: Should've Never Gotten Married

 
Not happy in his marriage but not happy about ending it... Time to do the right thing.

Mr. Should Not Have Gotten Married Asks:

Hi! Okay, here is one for you. I'm a 42 year old, married white male. I've been married 14 years and have 2 children. My wife was pregnant before we got married, pretty much the reason we got married. We had been together for 4yrs prior to her getting pregnant, one of those years we were broken up. When she found out she was pregnant she was living in Brooklyn and I had just moved across the country, we were basically going our separate ways. Instead we "did the right thing" and got married. We always fight and hold a lot of resentment toward each other. Neither of us are thriving in our relationship and we just seem to be sitting in a holding pattern. She constantly tells me how unhappy she is in the relationship and that she wants a divorce. We haven't had sex in 14 months. I think in the long term we would both be happier if we were divorced but the idea bothers me, our lives are so entwined and the thought of tearing it apart is very painful. Anyway, that's for starters.

I'm looking forward to hearing back from you.

Ask Abbie: All She Wants For Her Birthday Is Him...And Him

This husband wonders if he should give his wife the birthday present she really wants -- him and another man.

Thinking About The Threesome Asks:

Ok here goes, 

My wife just turned 45 & we've been married 24 years. She was a virgin when we met & has never been with another man. She's recently told me that she is curious about having a threesome with another man & myself. This surprised me because she's always been very conservative in bed. She said I could pick out the guy if I wanted. Should we go through with this? Is this a common female fantasy? I think maybe she's starting to feel like she's getting older & wants to feel attractive again. Any insight would be appreciated.

Ask Abbie: My Wife, Masturbation Or Cheating?

11 years together. 9 years of very little sex. Now on the verge of stepping out on his wife, who is pregnant, for the first time...

 

Empty-inside Ed Asks:

Hi. Ok this is kind of weird but i will give it a try...

I'm 33. Been married 6 years, but have been living with my wife for 11 years. We have a young son and she is pregnant again. Love her, love the family etc.

Anyway, the only issue that comes between my wife and I is sex. I want a lot of it, she could care less. It's been that way after our first 2 years together. The beginning of our relationship was great sex-wise. But now we're entering into year 9 of slim-pickings. 

Random Musings on Life and Chimps

I woke up this morning and before getting out the bed, I usually reach over and turn on the radio. Newsradio 88. Love it. Anyway, I heard the story about the victim of Travis the Chimp and how her brother wants to gain custody of his sister and her child. That way he could make medical decisions that, right now, she obviously can’t make. She’s still sedated and I wonder how much of her face they’ve put back on. Who would you want in charge of you in that situation? Personally, I would choose a blood relative even if I’m married. So that “honor” would go to a sibling or child. Anyone who chooses a parent has to be realistic; will your parent still be alive? And you have to consider,who from your family would be most objective and not make decisions of the heart? So yeah, I wouldn’t want my husband in charge of my end-of-life or any critically important decisions but he must know CPR. He gotta be able to save my life the same way I could save his.