Ask Abbie: I Don't Want To Be My Girlfriend's Boyfriend's Girlfriend

Not Feeling My Girlfriend's Boyfriend Asks:

I'm bisexual and am in relationships with a man (my boyfriend of a little over a year) and a woman (which started as a platonic friendship but grew into a physical relationship as time went on). I was very open with each of them from the beginning about my orientation and my feelings, and both of my partners have always been accepting, comfortable even, with things.

Over time, they became close as well, something that I have encouraged, and we've reached a point at which our overall relationship is polyamorous. This does NOT involve threesomes; instead, at times he and I do things together, or she and I, or he and she (including sleeping together). We all communicate openly about plans, and we all live alone, so rather than the situation being awkward, it has actually been really nice. 

We have rules about dating "outsiders" and safe sex, of course. My gf has been dating another guy (again, all on the up and up: he knows about us, and we about him) for the past several weeks. At first, things were cool, but lately he has been pushing to join our relationship, that is, to have an intimate relationship with me. But I'm not attracted to him emotionally (other than as a friend) or physically (he's a nice guy, but I don't want to sleep with him). It's awkward for me with him, and is causing a real strain in my gf's relationship with him, which is in turn causing stress between she and I, and I don't know what to do about it. Can you give me some insight/advice? Thank you in advance.

Ask Abbie: Am I Pretty In Panties?

(Source)

He has a secret to tell his girlfriend of 5-months. Will his honesty result in an end of the relationship?

Panty Pete Asks:

Well due to things that happened in my youth, I have sexual issues, in particular a panty fetish. Not sure how or if I should tell the new gf about it.... Would love to be able to wear panties in front of her, and yes I have worn hers here and there. We have been together like 5 months...I will miss her panty collection


Last gf that found me in panties basically broke it off. I tend to be femme in the bedroom. And have bi tendencies...

Catching Up With Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys

In 2007, I went to a reading of Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys at KGB Bar.  I was touched by the excerpts that many of the authors read. I bought a copy of the book and got it signed by a few of the writers who read that night including Edwin John Wintle, Simon Doonan and Philip Himberg. I identified with some of the stories and simply enjoyed others. I have a gay husband who I love to death. If I weren’t married I’d marry him. We’d host lots of dinner parties and just be “extra”.

Recently, I saw the ads in various subway stations for a TV series by the same name. I haven’t seen any episodes yet. I’ll have to catch up them online. I wonder what angle that show is coming from. I’m a girl who likes boys who likes boys (the ones who don’t hate women). With a male gay friend, I get the friendship without the sexual tension. It’s different from a relationship you have with a brother or cousin and different from a platonic male-female relationship between two heteros.

Why Try Bi

My personal belief is homosexuality is not a choice. It's how you're born; you either are or you aren't. I love the differences in people and learning about them and what makes them tick, how they think. It's also accepted that women's sexuality is fluid. More women are prone to be bisexual (I'm referring to the sexual not the emotional in this piece) but it's not every woman. It's not me. My number is not 3 on the Kinsey scale. If one more man asks me to be with a woman for their enjoyment or is just amazed at the fact that I've never been with another woman, I will scream. I'm not hardwired that way. I don't have the desire to please a woman sexually. When I watch girl-on-girl porn (which I enjoy), I become aroused and then either want to masturbate or be with a man. Lesbians obviously sense this in me because they don't hit on me. I don't even think they notice me. And it makes sense, they want to be with a woman who likes women. I can look at another woman, be nude with her, find her sexy and attractive and beautiful yet the urge to kiss her and touch her just isn't there.

What annoys me even more is that it's expected of me, or women, in general. There are men who won't even let a woman near their assholes because they think "it's gay", but I'm supposed to lick another woman's pussy? If I kept asking you, "you never sucked your boy's dick?" or "you never let him jerk you off?" you'd be pissed off. If I tried to arrange something, invited you guys over, cooked some food and figured we could pop a bottle and I'd get to referee a swordfight, you'd want to punch me in my face. I'm not going to get drunk and make out with a girl. The guys who have pleaded for a threesome expect me and the other woman to be with each other (I won't get into the fact that not too many men can handle and actually satisfy two women). When I'm in a threesome with two men, I don't expect the guys to do anything with one another. So why is it expected of me? I'm a very sexual woman and I think men are drawn to that; they can smell it. My sexual openness, erotic creativity, experimental ways and past experiences would have one assume I've been with a woman, but if I've told you it's never happened and I have no desire to force the issue, stop asking. Common sense would tell you that I could easily have been with a woman if I was so inclined considering said previous experiences. So to all those fellas who still don't get it, go give one of your boys an open mouth kiss then come talk to me.