My First Obscene Phone Call

It was about 6:30am. My phone rang and through blurry eyes I saw it was from a Restricted number. Because I receive some international calls that show up that way I accepted the call but didn't say anything. What I heard were sex sounds. Sounded muffled and I thought "another pocket dial". I hung up and rolled back over to sleep.


My phone rang again. Restricted number. Now I was annoyed and on guard. I accepted the call, put the call on speaker and still didn't say anything. This was a deliberate call. The male participant's moans and sex talk directed at his female partner were spoken into the phone as though he were wearing an earpiece or Bluetooth. I couldn't recognize his voice. I was searching my brain to figure out who would do this--did the guy on the phone sound like an ex?


After about 4 minutes they finished and then the man said, "Hello." I didn't respond. I still couldn't place the voice and was extra pissed now because that was confirmation that the call was intentional. He said "hello" a few more times, waiting each time for me to respond while his labored breathing steadied and he let out one more "Shit..." at how good his nut was.

To Kill Or Not To Kill

You have 25 seconds to decide whether to shoot the person you love in the head or heart or to die. What do you do?

I watched the episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Abel & Willing) with my heart in my throat thinking about what I would do. It even had me questioning my previous stance of killing someone in self-defense. I started my self-exploration while watching the episode at the “easier” end of the spectrum. I figured, well, if it were a complete stranger sitting across from me, or someone “evil” it would be easier to pull the trigger. A loved one? A family member? The thought still makes my stomach hurt. I can only imagine the pain the people were in who “choose to shoot” (CTS) and the fear and helplessness of the person who looked at their husband or wife pleading for their life.

The villain in the episode conducted the socio-psychological experiment because his family went through a similar ordeal at the hands of the Nazis. The point was to prove that all human behavior is self-serving and freedom of choice is contrary to human nature. In his experiments, he removed all outside factors and came to the conclusion that if the choice is simplified—their life or someone else’s, humans will always choose survival.