Where's The Love(r)?

Love's First Kiss by Thomas Blackshear 

I want a lover. I want romance.


Maybe I'm mushy because of the Full Moon in Scorpio.


I couldn't stop smiling watching Parks and Recreation; happy and touched that Leslie and Ben finally kissed. Abed and Annie lit something in me as they kissed while showered in orange paint. Sitcoms. This is what brings me romantic flutters of joy? I've been thinking about being wined and dined. Having my feet rubbed. Massaging his back after a long day at work. Toasting to "us". Don't stand to close to me, you might be roped into a hug and then find yourself whisking me away to a far away land.

Feeling The Love

Early this morning I was tinkering around with my DJ software. The urge to listen to music came over me then I remembered I was working on a mix a few weeks ago that I never finished. I ended up trimming, crossfading and panning songs until 3 in the morning.

The mix I completed last night was mainly 70's music - majority being Jorge Ben Jor, Asturd Gilberto with some Lingala beats, George McCrae and Jamiroquai thrown in. I love the sound. Music you can feel. On Thursday night, I met DJ Sami (Fuzzanova). He was rocking the event with some great 60's & 70's sounds. A song I thought was Jorge Ben was actually Emilio Santiago he told me - a new artist to add to my music library!

The Man I Can Not Or Should Not Love

There are basic truths I already know as an adult woman who has been in relationships and related to men. You can't be with someone who they themselves aren't ready, healthy or "whole". It just won't work. And before I develop some sort of Superwoman complex and try to "save" him or "protect" him, I need to step back.

I already told myself that I'd have to detox from him and the situation. I've done it before. I use the term detox because it's almost an addiction. That's how it feels. And it doesn't feel good.

I've toyed with the idea of another detox recently, and I even mentioned it to him. Why? Because I was being a  fucking woman. I have my moments. His response? That I shouldn't detox but instead I should immerse myself in it.

Let that sink in for a minute...

Immerse myself in it