Great Finds from bookbook

 

 Went to a bookstore today and bought 3 books. Topics: travel, food and sex. Hey, you love what you love.

I tweeted that on Saturday evening.


It felt good to be in a bookstore, to see the covers, to read the blurbs, to flip through the pages. I was at bookbook on Bleecker. These are the 3 titles I walked away with.

Smile When You're Lying: Confessions of a rogue travel writer by Chuck Thompson

The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones by Anthony Bourdain

Bonk: The curious coupling of science and sex by Mary Roach

Coming To Break You Off

Apparently, outside of dolphins, humans are the only species to have sex for recreation; we don’t have a set “mating season”. That probably would eliminate a lot of problems, but I digress...


So we have sex for fun; it feels good, relieves stress and gives skin that unbelievable glow, forms bonds, starts wars, and usually ends in orgasm(s). And we all know there are different types of O’s – vaginal, clitoral, anal, nipple. Some cause creamy ooze (male and female), others, waterfalls or high-powered hoses (Cytherea). Some anal orgasms are so intense the anus prolapses. That can be a scary sight and for some engaging in sexual congress, that’s actually the goal. Usually this all starts with kissing. The lips are very sensitive because they have a lot of nerve endings. During a kiss, all your senses are being used; you see your partner, taste them, smell them, touch them, hear them. Testosterone is coursing through the veins increasing sexual desires. After you’ve suckled the neck, you move to the breasts. There is direct nerve connection between the nipple and clit/penis, so that explains why getting your nipples played with or sucked “just right” can send a charge down your belly and cause a tingle in your pants. Nipple orgasms are possible through sex or breast-feeding and men are also capable of reaching nipple orgasms.


Now the road to that orgasm is one that is different for everyone. Your upbringing, past traumas or delights and physiological hardwiring all determine what gets you off. There’s the guy who can only get off when his partner gives him head with a finger in the back door. Men are visual, but remember the dude who had to have the lights on every time? The next guy you dated had to have his nipples twiddled and diddled. One of the rules is, if you wanna keep your man, better open your mouth. But your partner, you’ll never get oral sex from, ever. And let’s not forget the guy who only gets and maintains an erection if you kiss him. Don’t try to suck him, don’t try to give him a handjob, cause it aint gonna happen. I’m sure there are women out there who like to be bitten and choked or stuffed elbow deep, but when is weird too weird? What is a fetish? Are fetishes only “physical” in nature? What is your fetish?

Financial Orgasm

“I’m living on less but I’m living more” - Dr. Phil subway ad


I read those words while I was traveling on the uptown B train one Tuesday night. And I totally identified with the statement. I’ve never been money-hungry or the gold-digging type. What is important is that I’m able to afford the necessities; that my fridge and cupboards are never bare, that I can treat myself to the occasional splurge and just be able to enjoy this rather expensive city of New York, without spending a lot. Simply put, comfort is always my goal.


My financial situation changed drastically in 2006, for the worse. It is so important for women to have money of their own that only they have access to and to manage it. And please stop giving your money to men (been watching Judge Judy and my man Judge Joe Brown)! A friend and I recently spoke about the all too important Fuck-you fund. That’s the stash of money you got for when shit go down and you gotta be on your own overnight. I’m finally rebuilding mine. My Fuck-you fund disappeared when the dude I was done fucking and was gonna fucking leave fucked me over and ran off with my fucking money. I’ve been playing catch up ever since. 2007 and most of 2008 I held back. That’s not Abigail.


Aside from building that fund, I’m saving in an ING account. I didn’t need a minimum amount to open with and in less than a month I saved $300. That’s $3600 by the end of the year. That’s a huge deal considering I was recently laid off. I am livING not just existING. It’s amazing how much more confident you feel when you know you have money to “fall back on.” I’m putting my travel wings back on, got my comfy shoes ready for my walks. I’m even considering looking into a career in advertising, PR or event planning because apparently my ability to persuade, sell, and bring people together has only merely been tapped into, and as you can see, I’m not above shameless plugs.


I also make wise “investments” and take smart “risks” (I haven’t tackled the stock market yet) Money spent on professional organization memberships will pay off. I still have two 401Ks from two of my past jobs that are slowly growing. The most clever and powerful statement I heard recently was from Suze Orman during a show I happened to come across airing on PBS. One of the mottos women need to live by is: I am not on sale.


Aside for these random essays and social commentaries I can’t help but write my writing is not free. Pay me what I’m worth. I do take the occasional free assignment only if it’s going to pay off big in the long run. If I don’t receive any monetary compensation the barter must be appropriate. I also create art with my body. That comes at a price as well. Once you start asking for what you’re worth and not accepting any less the money (in whatever form) will start rolling in.


Living on less but living more… and getting off on it every time.