Pain, Pain, Go Away

I've had a uterus my entire life. We've had a very amicable relationship. At about 3 pm on Monday afternoon something upset her. She slowly grew enraged. But I was weathering her storm. At about 8 o'clock while I was trying to wind down she was just getting started. I text a friend about these newfangled pains I was experiencing. I wasn't doubled over but was definitely uncomfortable. They say it helps to talk about your problems; you gain insight on how to manage them, solve them or perhaps they'll even go away. I don't remember when I dozed off but at about 11pm I was woken by CM Punk screaming into the pipe bomb and my uterus screaming louder. What the what? I made myself a little more comfortable but was determined to sleep this off like I could sleep off other pains.


Shame on me for not having any pain meds at home but I'm rarely in pain. Moaning and whimpering, I stumbled around my bedroom at about 2:30ish in the morning. Pain blurred my vision. Pain made me sweat. Not doubled over in pain, uh, Abigail? Merely uncomfortable, Missy? I slumped over the bathroom sink for a while when a wave of nausea hit me. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's nausea and vomiting. That was the push I needed. I swallowed hard and had a heart-to-heart with the grimace in the mirror. I needed meds. But I couldn't walk straight due to the pain (my vagina was now singing backup). Never in my life had I experienced pain like this. Who are these women who deal with this every month?

Kali. Abbie. Baby.

I had another "Aha!" moment this morning. Yesterday, I had a photo shoot for the upcoming Asana Exposed -- a photographic essay book on the transformative power of naked yoga from the creator of Naked Yoga NYC, ISIS Phoenix, with photographer Mike Cinquino. I've mentioned my naked yoga history briefly on this blog before. Very excited to be a part of this project!


During the photo shoot, ISIS Phoenix chose asanas that personified each of us (Cindee Rifkin, yoga instructor, was also a model at the shoot). One asana ISIS chose for me was Kali (Goddess) Pose. I'd never done it before and had a lot of fun doing it. Visually, it's a very simple pose -- wide squat, hands out to the side, tongue sticking out and a vocalization -- but internally, it's very powerful and freeing -- immerse yourself in Kaliasana and you'll quite possibly evoke Kali.

Period. The Beginning.

There must be someway to celebrate the final menstrual cycle of my 20's. Some sort of ceremony or ritual involving meditation, the moon, belly dancing, donning a special menstrual garment and then burning or burying the blood-soaked shroud.

I believe there are phases in life. Entering your 30's is the beginning of a new phase. As a woman, there is no way to know which period will be your last. You're aware that you're going through menopause but only after the periods stop do you realize that last one was the last one.