"How are you so sure?" I asked a friend that question, in awe of his certainty that he's where he's meant to be in life and will get every and anything he wants and needs.
He pointed to the walls of the studio where we sat and each poster on the wall had a story. He could recount all the laughs and tears and the gifts he received and things he lost. He expresses gratitude for all he has and goes through life fearlessly. Not to be confused with foolishly.
We were hanging out that day because I needed his energy. I always feel good in his presence. I feel heard and I'm guaranteed a piece of sage advice from him.
I was on vacation a few weeks prior and questioning my direction in life. I was internalizing all the change in New York. There was this resistance in me against being the 'naked man photographer'. I was discouraged at my living situation and bank account balances.
It's hard to look on the bright side at times and go forward knowing I will be taken care of. Even though I'm ten years removed, depression has rewired my brain. My usually optimistic, determined nature is sometimes shattered with hopelessness, despair and fear.
