Black, White and Grey

 

Not shying away from race, we sat in an Italian gelateria and openly discussed black and white. He's from the Midwest and feels at home when he visits NY. He's accepted here for being himself, regardless of his skin color or race that he identifies with.

He broke it down for me. Where he's from there's only black and white. Racially, but also where you live and how you act. The white people who act "black" are called "wiggers". The black people who act white are "Uncle Toms". I was familiar with the terminology although I don't hear them much in my circle. "So you're either black or white, but you, you're grey."

There are stereotypes and generalizations that persist; certain actions, behaviors and mannerisms are assigned to certain groups of people. Certain beliefs and ideologies are considered "normal" for one group and not the other. In his city of 297,000 he's considered weird because of his style of dress and lifestyle. His take? I'd be considered weird too.



In a world of black and white, I'm grey. That's one of the best compliments I've ever received.

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Compliments And Touching Natural Hair

I receive compliments about my hair regularly, both when I'm rocking my afro or extensions (braids or twists). I smile and accept graciously. Sometimes the compliments are followed up with questions of what I "put in my hair", or if I do other people's hair once they find out I do my hair myself. One time, I was approached outside Grand Central Station by a fellow natural sister. We chatted briefly about my hair. The end result was an interview on Coily Crowns.

My hair loves the compliments too. She stands a bit taller and dances (whether there's wind blowing or not). She has a mind of her own.

Yesterday, I was on my way to dinner and while on the subway platform a woman turned around and said, "I love your hair!"

Kitty Makes Me A Girl

I was exchanging texts with my friend, StarPower, about Monday Night Raw before the conversation shifted to UrbanErotika™, an event I co-produced and StarPower performed in about 2 weeks ago. He told me that I looked really nice that night. I had received a few compliments the night of the show and accepted his gracefully as well. I told him I should “dress like a girl more often”, or maybe I just needed reasons to.

The next morning, I had an “aha” moment of sorts and decided to wear a skirt. I was making a few stops that day and I figured I would be comfortable enough. I clearly made the right decision when I walked into the APART showroom for Kitty Bradshaw’s 2 Year Blogiversary event. Normally, I’d rock a pair of jeans & a simple top or t-shirt. I didn’t stray from the t-shirt but wore it with my “dangerous curves ahead” skirt. I even wore slight heels and I even threw on some beads. All the attendees that night proved that writers and bloggers aren’t homely creatures with no fashion sense.

Chivalry Don't Like Bitches

Chivalry is not dead. Chivalry just doesn’t like bitches. How can a woman expect a man to be polite and gracious when all she does is roll her eyes, believes she’s undeserving or acts like the words “thank” and “you” aren’t part of her vocabulary? Nice girls get doors held open for them, don’t pay for dinner or drinks, get door-to-door chauffeur service and receive genuine compliments. I’m all about equality of the sexes but I’m a woman and I like when a man takes charge and takes care of me. That does not mean I want him to control me or possess me (I wouldn’t put up with that anyway and that’s not love) but when their natural paternal instincts kick in, I relish it. Just that protective way they put their arm on the back of your chair (after they’ve pushed it in for you) or are quick to stand up for you and kick someone’s ass when they find out someone made you cry or pissed you off (Joey Tribbiani from Friends).


I hope my first born is a boy. That way if I get a daughter second, she’ll have a big brother. I know full well most men want to protect and provide for a woman; a deserving woman. Although I’m liberal, I do fall into the traditional female gender role around a traditionally masculine man – he’s good with his hands (or at least tries or doesn’t balk at the idea of hiring someone to do the job for him), handles all the pest infestations that send me running and screeching like a girl, has hobbies I’ll never understand yet appreciate, watches me like a piece of meat when I’m walking around the house, presses his body behind mine while I’m in the kitchen….pretty much 24/7 foreplay is what I mean. And I will fill his belly with some fine food with a smile.