Black, White and Grey

 

Not shying away from race, we sat in an Italian gelateria and openly discussed black and white. He's from the Midwest and feels at home when he visits NY. He's accepted here for being himself, regardless of his skin color or race that he identifies with.

He broke it down for me. Where he's from there's only black and white. Racially, but also where you live and how you act. The white people who act "black" are called "wiggers". The black people who act white are "Uncle Toms". I was familiar with the terminology although I don't hear them much in my circle. "So you're either black or white, but you, you're grey."

There are stereotypes and generalizations that persist; certain actions, behaviors and mannerisms are assigned to certain groups of people. Certain beliefs and ideologies are considered "normal" for one group and not the other. In his city of 297,000 he's considered weird because of his style of dress and lifestyle. His take? I'd be considered weird too.



In a world of black and white, I'm grey. That's one of the best compliments I've ever received.

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Been There, Done French

I was talking to a guy about travel. Naturally, Paris came up in the conversation. I told him it would've been great if I had visited Paris in my 20's but that I was also glad to be going now as a full-fledged adult. I'd have a better handle on the language, and what to expect from the locals (namely the men). I won't be seduced, instead I'd choose the man I want and then let him think he seduced me.


The guy I was speaking with isn't from NY so I asked him if he'd heard of the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case (DSK is now counter-suing the hotel maid he is accused of sexually assaulting). He had vague knowledge of the case and I explained to him what I'd learned, while researching the DSK scandal, about the sexual entitlement French men seem to exhibit -- the séducteur. How much of that is actually "fah real", he asked.


Let me share the story I shared with him.

Random Musings on Partialism

Guy A:

It was all about me for the first 30 minutes or so. No complaints there. Then he asked if I wanted to "do more" or "keep going". Sure, I thought. I was attracted to him and still in the mood. I returned the oral favor; he stopped me and commented on my skill level. Ok, we get to it and early on he asked me to squeeze his nipples. All right. Tweak tweak. But when I moved my hands he demanded that I squeeze his nipples again. What does Abigail do? She hooks up with him 2 more times after that.

Talk to me about Shame

A solo performance by Juilan Goldhagen

A few weeks ago, I attended the solo performance, Talk to me about Shame, by Julian Goldhagen. He's a great storyteller; he brought us to speed on not wanting to go to a friend's birthday party, losing his virginity and never having sex with that sex again and copping a squat on an African mountaintop for the ultimate release. Goldhagen's vulnerability and courage are magnetic. 

 

Race Relations in Motor City (Bar)

Last night, I ended up at Motor City Bar. I like that the vibe there is never pretentious, it's a great mix of clientele and it'll be the setting for my upcoming photo shoot (see: Graffiti Butt)

I had conversations with interesting men at the bar -- maybe because we didn't know one another we were more direct, more quickly. The underlying theme of our conversations: race.

"So whereabouts in Brooklyn are you from?"

I answered his question but later it hit me -- I didn't tell this man I was from Brooklyn. I asked how he knew I was "from Brooklyn" and he said he's been in NY for 25 years and has learned to "just tell". Moments before that, I tried to pinpoint the origin of his brogue. I guessed Ireland, he's Scottish.