Make Destination Bar Your Destination

Destination Bar, East Village, NYC (photo source)

It's an East Village bar that hasn't been overrun by the gentrifiers or the Bridge and Tunnel crew. That right there scored it tons of points.

More points for the signature drinks at less than the $15 to $22 cocktail-standard that plagues New York at the moment. 

Want cocktails for $5? Head to Destination Bar during their happy hour (corner of Avenue A and 13th). All drinks are half off. That was a major reason I decided to have my birthday happy hour there this year.

Speed Rack USA Women's Finals for Breast Cancer

On May 16, Speed Rack USA held the finals of the women's bartending competition in New York. It was a fundraising event with 100% of the proceeds going to breast cancer research and education. My good friend, Glendaliz Camacho works for SHARE, a beneficiary of the funds raised at the event.

Ask Abbie: Passion For the Bottle...Not Him

Passionless and Unfulfilled Asks:

Hi - I'm involved in what can charitably be called a passionless marriage. My wife doesn't sleep in the same room as me. She has certain personal habits, specifically heavy drinking, which turn me off. It's a cliche, but by now, I stay in it for the kids. On the plus side they're 17 and 20, and will soon be on their own. Yet if I divorce, my wife will have no means of support and would probably wind up on the street. Despite my frustration, I don't want to leave her to fate for what I consider an addiction, but one she refuses to even acknowledge.


In terms of my owns needs and desires, I do have a sex drive which is very unfulfilled My question to you is, do you think it would be cheating for me to find sex outside of marriage? I'm attracted to many women I see, but I can't get myself to follow up with them. I appreciate any advice you have.

DJ Abbie Debut (Recap)

Ten days removed from my DJing debut. I've since come down off the high to the point that I haven't listened to music since. Which is astonishing for me. But I guess, subconsciously, my body and brain knew a detox was needed. I had a lot of fun controlling a room with music. In the weeks leading up to it, I organized most of my "world" music onto one playlist to make it easy. Then I organized them based on their sound or the mood they set. It's all about mood for me.

Mixers And The Single Woman

Recently I found out about a mixer/meet-up. I emailed the invite to a few friends to see who'd be interested in going. Geraldine and I decided to venture to the Empire Hotel on a Friday night.


I rarely go to mixers. Well, mixers that are advertised as mixers. I attended one earlier this year hosted by WTF Is Up With My Love Life. The object was to find new members for your gaggle. Admittedly, I was more interested in boosting my career.

Can't Blame It On The Alcohol

I can honestly say no sexual intercourse took place in this bed. It was after 2am, we'd met at a cocktail lounge, kissed in the cab and I marveled at the Danish he spoke in a slight British accent that escaped out his Colombian-tanned complexion.


I don't have drunk sex. I rarely have tipsy sex. I stated that fact when he invited me back to his hotel. And I told him again about half-hour later when he told me the invite still stood. Sex is very physical for me. I'm not the type to just lie there. Alcohol is a depressant. I just want to (try to) sleep after I drink. I also want to remember who, what, where, when and how. So I don't do drunk hook-ups.


Do you have any sex-alcohol rules? Do you have the willpower to stop if faced with temptation? Do you remember everything you've ever done and with whom?


The only thing I can blame alcohol for is sex not happening. That bed was very comfortable, the bedding blindingly white and I only needed one pillow, they were so plush. The Colombian-Dane respected my decision despite his desire. And I still have respect for myself.

*   *   *

Prohibition Wednesdays At Apothéke

Apothéke is Native Creative Concierge™ approved.

I returned.

Absolutely no bladder issues.

Just a great time.

On Monday night, my friend told me that Wednesday would be the start of a new event at Apothéke -- Prohibition Wednesdays. Code word at the door, sounds from the phonograph, special cocktails, bartenders decked out in vests and bow-ties... total speakeasy vibe (I see a Boardwalk Empire event in their future). The DJ, Jay White, also happened to be celebrating his birthday adding to the festive atmosphere.

Backdrop: Apothéke

The following took place between 10:30PM Wednesday and 4:00AM Thursday


Following a relationship & race forum event, Geraldine* and I stood on Allen St deciding what to do next. Nah, let me rephrase that, we stood on Allen St deciding where to get drinks. I knew I wouldn't be able to drink without eating first. I had a great workout a few hours earlier and my metabolism was still revved up. We pregamed with pizza and water on Houston St.


Afterwards we walked to Chinatown to Apothéke. I hadn't been in that part of Chinatown since the Chinese New Year. I first learned of Apothéke on The Real Housewives of New York City. My interest was piqued when LuAnn walked there with her date, it was an out-of-the-way sort of place. The streets didn't look like they were in NY; I like places off the beaten track. The theme of the bar intrigued me as well--an apothecary. So when my friend told me he was working there I was very excited and admitted my RHONY viewing habits.

Random Musings On Visiting Friends

Does the first thing you see in the morning set the tone for the entire day? That coffee table landscape (pictured above) was the first thing I saw when I woke up on a Monday morning a few weeks ago. I felt around for my phone and took that photo.


So glad my friend followed up with an email; I didn't receive his text message because my phone was disconnected. An invite to dinner at his place on Sunday evening. One of his friends I'd met last summer at the beach, a Cajun, was there with his wife. We drank wine, studied the fifth guest's Bio-jewelry, ribbed each other and played Uno. Then there were three.

Lessons For The Socially Awkward

I've had more than one friend tell me I should teach classes or seminars on flirting, or just simply talking to new people. When I envision these classes, I see "hands-on" workshops, with lots of field trips to bars, networking events, the park, supermarket and I'd give my students assignments; collect one phone number, have at least an 6 minute conversation with 3 strangers (3 minute convos for beginners or intermediates), make a date or plans to meet someone, bring up your pet turtle or your last workout, naturally, in conversation et cetera, et cetera.

3am. Verlaine

Verlaine is Native Creative Concierge™ approved.

I applied for a blogger position at Zagat earlier this week. I submitted a few samples with my resume like they requested. I scoured my external hard drive and flash drives for this piece I remembered writing a few years ago about Verlaine. But I couldn't find it! Gah! I was convinced it was lost in the ether but I found it yesterday... right after the owner came to mind and I thought about heading back there for a martini and some shrimp. It's a sign, I say!

I'll visit Verlaine and before heading to my favorite haunt on Ludlow. You're invited to the double-header!

Since I wrote this profile, I've been there for a holiday potluck and celebrated a birthday there. I checked the website and they've brought back 2001 prices for happy hour to celebrate their 10 year-anniversary! Oh, lychee martini coat my belly...

I found the email thread between myself and Gary Weingarten and smiled when I read his thanks for my honesty in the piece and offered to "work on getting the calamari just right - just for you.  i cant change the wings as i have people coming just for them and sopping the grease off their fingers to get every last taste."

Germ Warfare On The Social Sphere

I woke up on Friday morning feeling dry. Dry on the inside. Not "female dryness" (I hope to never have that problem) but nasotracheal dryness. I don't get sick often, but when I do, I know it's coming. And I'm pretty aware of how or when the virus invaded my body.


I was out the night before at the Bust Magazine Sex Issue release event. There was a vodka open bar and everyone was evicted from their personal space. The mixing and mingling spilled onto Delancey with French men and to the pizza shop with...


We can't avoid other people all the time - we still have interactions in the flesh. We're exposed to all things contagious - yawning, laughter and conjunctivitis. And that can take down the best social butterflies.

Fluid Retention

Sprawled out on the bench, legs cocked up on the handrails and spread eagle, without sufficient underwear, a bunch of grapes barely covering the crotch, incoherent rambling. 

That was the sight on my subway ride home at about 1:30 in the morning. A drunk woman. There's nothing more unattractive. Yes, I'm going to display a double-standard. I don't like drunk men either and especially not drunk drivers(!), but you know what, for the walking drunk, I'm more accepting of men making fools of themselves. Belligerent drunk men can walk into oncoming traffic if they so choose. But for a woman to get to that point... Where is your couth? Your grace? I'm not anti-alcohol. I love me some vodka and tequila, Baileys, white wine, champagne etc. Having a few drinks with friends is great. I'm a social drinker. After my first sip, I become intoxicated - not only from the alcohol but from the company. People intoxicate me (some more than others...you know who you are) 

The one time I threw up due to drinking was very surprising and uncomfortable. In between heaves into the toilet, I pleaded, "Why is this happening to me?" I wasn't even drunk! I've been around women whose main objective when they go out is to get wasted and have that moment on the toilet! Why would you do that to yourself? Vomiting is so uncomfortable! And I'll never comprehend drinking so much that I have no memory of the night before. Drinking is a veil for many a lonely soul. What's so bad in your life that you're trying so hard to forget? Will the STDs or unplanned pregnancy be worth it? Do you get drunk because it'll help you open up and talk to people or enjoy the party more? Maybe you're just a shy person. Constantly getting drunk aint gonna help you. Then the feigned shame - oh my god, I can't believe I did that! Yeah, bitch, but you're gonna do it again next weekend. So shut up.