Ask Abbie: How Do I Make Sure a Nude Shoot is Comfortable?

Me at work

That time a gay man asked a straight man to take naked photos of him...


Straight Shooter Asks:


Hi Abigail,

I have a guy who asked me to shoot him naked and I’ve never shot a nude before (apart from my ex girlfriend who was comfortable with me talking her pics) do you have any suggestions on how to make him comfortable ?

He’s actually gay so I don’t want it to create any problem with me shooting him, I’m totally fine with gay people and I wouldn’t mind if he was attracted to me. But how do I not create a tense environment?

Ps: I really like your work, I found it very personal and intriguing, you can capture a really profound side of people

Ask Abbie: Is it OK to Hold Her Hand?

(Source)

Souls connecting... so why not hold hands?

Hand-Holding Harry:

Hey i need your advice ..it's something personal.
I am married but stay alone in US.
I met a friend who is single.
I have a strong affection towards her and she feels that there is some connection of souls when we meet or talk.
I am 40 years Asian. She is Asian too..may be early 30s.
How can i tell her that I like her and I feel to sit with her at a cafe or watch a movie
and hold hands together...not really looking for sex..
pls advice how to approach...

Ask Abbie: Married Man Wants To Be Someone's Little Maid

Seeking A Submissive Role Asks:

I need advice on why I always have these thoughts that run through my mind. I am a married white male in my mid forties that has a normal life but I always have thoughts about being dressed up in lingerie and playing a submissive role to a woman or a couple. I always have thoughts about being someone's little maid and doing everything for them. Why is it that I always think about this stuff?

Ask Abbie: I Don't Want To Be My Girlfriend's Boyfriend's Girlfriend

Not Feeling My Girlfriend's Boyfriend Asks:

I'm bisexual and am in relationships with a man (my boyfriend of a little over a year) and a woman (which started as a platonic friendship but grew into a physical relationship as time went on). I was very open with each of them from the beginning about my orientation and my feelings, and both of my partners have always been accepting, comfortable even, with things.

Over time, they became close as well, something that I have encouraged, and we've reached a point at which our overall relationship is polyamorous. This does NOT involve threesomes; instead, at times he and I do things together, or she and I, or he and she (including sleeping together). We all communicate openly about plans, and we all live alone, so rather than the situation being awkward, it has actually been really nice. 

We have rules about dating "outsiders" and safe sex, of course. My gf has been dating another guy (again, all on the up and up: he knows about us, and we about him) for the past several weeks. At first, things were cool, but lately he has been pushing to join our relationship, that is, to have an intimate relationship with me. But I'm not attracted to him emotionally (other than as a friend) or physically (he's a nice guy, but I don't want to sleep with him). It's awkward for me with him, and is causing a real strain in my gf's relationship with him, which is in turn causing stress between she and I, and I don't know what to do about it. Can you give me some insight/advice? Thank you in advance.

Ask Abbie: My Girlfriend Gained Weight And I've Lost Attraction

Not Attracted To My Girlfriend Asks:

I need some advice. A year later, I've watched my girlfriend gain quite a bit of weight, and admit I'm less attracted physically but also because she's completely in denial, thinking she takes great care of herself. I'm worried about her health. No exercise, shitty diet overall, and a lot of talk about doing this and being involved with that, etc. No action. I'm starting to feel mismatched because I do put in effort and am noticing that she almost weighs the same as me. Plus, I think she's a bit depressed but denies that, too. 


How do I state my concerns without being offensive? A future with her would be difficult because, if there were to be kids, I want them to learn decent habits and take initiative, not the opposite. And spare me the bullshit about loving regardless, as we know that's not applicable in all situations. There have to be others out there who have dealt with this, right? Appreciate all your thoughts.

Ask Abbie: Should I Say I Love You?

Gotta Get It Off My Heart Asks:

Been with my gf for a few months. Things have gotten fairly serious and are going great. Haven't felt this good about a relationship in years. I've come to realize that I've fallen head over heels in love with her. Except I can't bring myself to tell her. Not sure if she'll freak out and go running or what she may do. Would hate to ruin something that is going so well. But I'm about to explode by not confessing how I feel. What should I do? Take a chance and tell her or just wait till maybe some day she says it to me first? Any and all advice would be appreciated, thanks!!

Ask Abbie: Just A Little Cunnilingus Between Friends

Hungry For Kitty Asks:

Without getting into too much detail, I want to ask a good acquaintance if I can give her oral sex. We are both massage therapists that met in class and have traded sessions on and off for the last 3 years. I am not interested in receiving anything in return, just want to take my time and satisfy her. I want this to be a one time thing with NO emotional effects. It is always hard to tell if there is a mutual attraction but I will say that we are both good looking people.


The kicker, I have been in a relationship for 3+ years with a girl who has been going through a lot the last year and a half. We do not have a sex life. She will go down on me every so often but that is basically it. I haven't seen her totally naked in more than a year. I do enjoy performing oral sex and miss it a lot. My g/f is from out of state so does go home to visit family and she gave me a hall pass before. I did not do anything during that time and we have never discussed it further.


Now the girl I want to give oral to is the only person I told about the "sex life" I have been experiencing. No one else. So she has sympathized with me on it. So I feel she will have an understanding of where I am coming from. But again, I don't want an emotional strings and want to make that clear to her as well. I just want it to be strictly physical and not ruin what we have. It is basically her helping me and getting oral in return.

How should I go about this? Any advice will be appreciated.

Ask Abbie: Kidult Daugther Moved Back Home

Dad Asks:

Hi I am a middle aged man recently had my daughter (adult) show up on my doorstep. She wants to live with me because it will be cheap and convenient while she goes to grad school. If you have upfront advice can help. And maybe ongoing need.

Thanks Dad

Ask Abbie: You Say He's Just A Friend

Am I More Than A Friend Asks:

I'm a well established young woman with an ok job, good man and decent social life. I've always prided myself in keeping good company and my current closest friend Paul defines that. He's great to hang out with, chat on the phone, and comforts or cheers me up when needed. Sounds great doesn't it?

I should be happy but I feel guilty. The other day I had an issue at work and as soon as I got home, I called Paul. Not my boyfriend. Paul. I'm starting to feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I don't sneak around with Paul, and nothing's happened but I rarely bring up my convos with Paul to my boyfriend (sometimes he doesn't even know what's going on). I love my boyfriend and we talk, emote, communicate, etc all the time but I still don't have with him what I have with Paul. Did I kid myself into thinking I could be platonic with a man? Should I have expected this?

Ask Abbie: Is Being a Single Father That Much of a Turn off?

Single Father Asks:

Hi there,

To tell you the truth, i ask myself daily, what is it about the mention of kids, people just up and run from me?

I look around, and i know quite a few guys out there that have children and refuse to care for them, but yet i see all of these guys dating and not caring for anyone but themselves.

I guess it just really bothers me that a man such as myself, has a job, pays my bills, takes responsibility for his actions, and takes care of his children is just frequently ignored by the fairer sex.

I only have my children Friday night thru Sunday night every week, and the rest of the week i just go thru the motions. Is it really that important that a Friday night and Saturday night be an available option when dating? Can't something like this be overlooked? There are so many confusing things when it comes to dating and being a father, and i just dont get any of it..

Can you enlighten me?

Ask Abbie: Managing Bursitis of the Knee

Bursitis-Of-the-Knee-on-the-Brain Asks:

I have bursitis/ inflammation in my right knee. It's painful, but for now the doctor recommends basic exercises to strengthen hamstrings and quadriceps, stretching, and anti-inflammation meds. I just hired a new trainer to help me lose about 15lbs and tighten up. What precautions should I take regarding my knee to avoid further injury?

Ask Abbie: In Love With Another Woman

In Love With Another Woman Asks:

I am turning 52 this month. I've been happily married for nearly 25 years, we have three kids, the youngest of whom is 14, the oldest in college. I work at home, and several years ago, with my wife's full knowledge and consent, I hired a friend of ours, a mom I'll call Karen, to help me with my business. We got along fine, it was good for my business, a strictly working relationship, and she left after about 2 years to take a full time job.

She was a friend to both of ours, and she still came over often after her job ended, our kids were pals, etc. We walked dogs together. On one of these walks, she gave me a letter, asking me to read it later. When I did, it told me that she loved me, but she knew I was married, and that she couldn't keep relating to me the same way. We could no longer be friends.

The problem is, I'd fallen in love with her as well. I rushed to her and told her so. We spent a month talking tearfully back and forth before my wife found out. She was outraged, naturally, and I stopped all communication with Karen.

Ask Abbie: Losing Her To Her Work

Mr. Second To Her Career Asks:

So I have been dating this girl for a little over a year now. Things were great until her career started consuming her life and distancing her from me. Now, don't get me wrong, I want her to be successful but I feel neglected. I don't hear from her for extended periods of time, sometimes days. When I do hear from her all she really says is she is busy with work or to ask me to do something for her. At this point I feel like an unpaid intern on call 24 hours a day, rearranging my personal life to preform menial tasks for someone else for no compensation. 

Ask Abbie: A Matter of Black And White and Ego

White Guy With Black Girl Issue Asks:

So I've been working closely with a beautiful black woman for the past couple of months. Drive her home, take her out for food and drink a couple times, turn my game up to full power, get her in a hotel (sorry she is married and I knew and didn't care. Whole nother issue). Lucky for me it seems I'm one of the white guys with a big fat dick, know what I want and, know how to give it. It's a big secret, so no one knows and, the other day I overhear her with other black coworkers talking about how she would "never fuck wit a white boy". Blah blah except this one white guy, hot, movie star or someone. I'm pissed but, more than pissed I'm hurt. Hung out one night shortly after and admittingly I was not myself, got out, got distracted but, still looking to rationally state my case to her.


For some reason I'd like to continue our relationship (probably those hips and lips) but, I really want her to understand what she did and why it was wrong, or am I wrong?

Ask Abbie: Passion For the Bottle...Not Him

Passionless and Unfulfilled Asks:

Hi - I'm involved in what can charitably be called a passionless marriage. My wife doesn't sleep in the same room as me. She has certain personal habits, specifically heavy drinking, which turn me off. It's a cliche, but by now, I stay in it for the kids. On the plus side they're 17 and 20, and will soon be on their own. Yet if I divorce, my wife will have no means of support and would probably wind up on the street. Despite my frustration, I don't want to leave her to fate for what I consider an addiction, but one she refuses to even acknowledge.


In terms of my owns needs and desires, I do have a sex drive which is very unfulfilled My question to you is, do you think it would be cheating for me to find sex outside of marriage? I'm attracted to many women I see, but I can't get myself to follow up with them. I appreciate any advice you have.

Ask Abbie: Sex Doesn't Last

Not Getting Enough Asks:

Let's start off with sex, we don't have any. He thrusts 3 times and stops for a while sometimes he'll be too tired to continue. He always wants to be on top as well and sex is getting boring. When I do go on top he slips outta me and softens up. Any tips because I wanna take control with no mistakes and wow him to spice our relationship.

Ask Abbie: Always A Cheater, Never Alone

Lost Asks:

Okay ....I'm a 39 year old man married for over 15 years....I have 2 kids who I love...Now here's my problem. ...I've never been faithful to my wife. She knows about the other women...but I promised every time to leave them alone... I've always looked and found someone to have sex with have fun with. ...everything you're supposed to do with your wife. I've had several girls on the side but one in particular has been there for years, over 10.... I know shame on me. ...I've wanted to leave and be with her but I would chicken out...Now that I really want to, she doesn't.... My question is how do you move on to loving your wife and not the other woman? Please help me...Signed lost..

Ask Abbie: So Glad She's Gone

Is it OK to feel better when your partner is gone?

Needs Solitude Asks:

I've been seeing someone for awhile. Love her, truly but I lack a connection somewhere. What I mean is she's been away and I haven't really missed her. I've thought about her and hope her trip is going well, but I think I dread her return somewhat. The solitude has been needed (I can't remember the last time I had all this time to myself) and I know I'll feel crowded and looked to for attention upon her return.

Plain truth is that I lack intimacy with her often. I don't really want to talk to her and tell her what's on my mind. I just want to be left alone, mostly. Sometimes it's fun to hang out together, but then I'll want to be left alone.

We've been together for years...

My head feels all f**ked up. My heart too.

Ask Abbie: The One Or The Hooker

Done Being A Virgin Asks:

im a college student but still a virgin, with no foreseeable options in the near future. thinking about getting a hooker, what do u think?

wait till i find the ONE or just fuck a whore....

Ask Abbie: Why Can't I Lose Weight?

Can't Lose Weight Asks:

Hello.. I can use some advice. Although, this is a very common topic and most people suffer from it, I wanted to explore a specific option.


I am 36 and lately I cannot keep off my weight. I am 6 feet (182 inches) tall and weight about 187 pounds. I try and exercise whenever I can (mostly cardio), however, I am unable to reduce weight. I was looking at one of two options and would love some advice from your position.


1. Weight loss pill - like lipozene. I have tried to research this on the web and some of the posts are really scary. I don't know how accurate the information is.


2. Testosterone - Is it possible that I might have low T count, which might be resulting in excess weight?Ideally I want to be in my 160-170 range, however, I am unable to lose a single pound.


Advice pls.