Ask Abbie: Is it OK to Hold Her Hand?

(Source)

Souls connecting... so why not hold hands?

Hand-Holding Harry:

Hey i need your advice ..it's something personal.
I am married but stay alone in US.
I met a friend who is single.
I have a strong affection towards her and she feels that there is some connection of souls when we meet or talk.
I am 40 years Asian. She is Asian too..may be early 30s.
How can i tell her that I like her and I feel to sit with her at a cafe or watch a movie
and hold hands together...not really looking for sex..
pls advice how to approach...

Ask Abbie Answers:

Well, if your friend already feels the connection as do you and knows you're married, it's fine to go to cafes or the movies. You're insisting there won't be any sex so if you can stick to that platonic, non-sexual dynamic, you'll be fine. We all need companionship, that's natural. Humans are communal creatures. Hand holding is a "safe" way to express affection and have physical contact.


The next time you see her and greet her (I'm assuming you greet with a hug or a kiss on the cheek), take her hand as you kiss her or after you hug her, tell her how great it is to see her and just let it flow naturally. Don't be creepy about it. She might just go along with it and everything works out. If she's taken aback because it is something you've never done before and pulls her hand away, then you can explain to her that you enjoy spending time with her, you really appreciate her friendship and companionship and see if she comes around.


If your intentions really are for no sex, and you behave as such, she'll come around. However, for some people, hand holding can be considered PDA and if your friend feels the same way, it may not work in public. I cannot stress this enough, do not force it. Besides, shouldn't you want that sort of connection with someone who wants it with you?

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