Ask Abbie: How Do I Make Sure a Nude Shoot is Comfortable?

Me at work

That time a gay man asked a straight man to take naked photos of him...


Straight Shooter Asks:


Hi Abigail,

I have a guy who asked me to shoot him naked and I’ve never shot a nude before (apart from my ex girlfriend who was comfortable with me talking her pics) do you have any suggestions on how to make him comfortable ?

He’s actually gay so I don’t want it to create any problem with me shooting him, I’m totally fine with gay people and I wouldn’t mind if he was attracted to me. But how do I not create a tense environment?

Ps: I really like your work, I found it very personal and intriguing, you can capture a really profound side of people

Ask Abbie: Is it OK to Hold Her Hand?

(Source)

Souls connecting... so why not hold hands?

Hand-Holding Harry:

Hey i need your advice ..it's something personal.
I am married but stay alone in US.
I met a friend who is single.
I have a strong affection towards her and she feels that there is some connection of souls when we meet or talk.
I am 40 years Asian. She is Asian too..may be early 30s.
How can i tell her that I like her and I feel to sit with her at a cafe or watch a movie
and hold hands together...not really looking for sex..
pls advice how to approach...

Ask Abbie: Married Man Wants To Be Someone's Little Maid

Seeking A Submissive Role Asks:

I need advice on why I always have these thoughts that run through my mind. I am a married white male in my mid forties that has a normal life but I always have thoughts about being dressed up in lingerie and playing a submissive role to a woman or a couple. I always have thoughts about being someone's little maid and doing everything for them. Why is it that I always think about this stuff?

Ask Abbie: I Don't Want To Be My Girlfriend's Boyfriend's Girlfriend

Not Feeling My Girlfriend's Boyfriend Asks:

I'm bisexual and am in relationships with a man (my boyfriend of a little over a year) and a woman (which started as a platonic friendship but grew into a physical relationship as time went on). I was very open with each of them from the beginning about my orientation and my feelings, and both of my partners have always been accepting, comfortable even, with things.

Over time, they became close as well, something that I have encouraged, and we've reached a point at which our overall relationship is polyamorous. This does NOT involve threesomes; instead, at times he and I do things together, or she and I, or he and she (including sleeping together). We all communicate openly about plans, and we all live alone, so rather than the situation being awkward, it has actually been really nice. 

We have rules about dating "outsiders" and safe sex, of course. My gf has been dating another guy (again, all on the up and up: he knows about us, and we about him) for the past several weeks. At first, things were cool, but lately he has been pushing to join our relationship, that is, to have an intimate relationship with me. But I'm not attracted to him emotionally (other than as a friend) or physically (he's a nice guy, but I don't want to sleep with him). It's awkward for me with him, and is causing a real strain in my gf's relationship with him, which is in turn causing stress between she and I, and I don't know what to do about it. Can you give me some insight/advice? Thank you in advance.

Ask Abbie: Just A Little Cunnilingus Between Friends

Hungry For Kitty Asks:

Without getting into too much detail, I want to ask a good acquaintance if I can give her oral sex. We are both massage therapists that met in class and have traded sessions on and off for the last 3 years. I am not interested in receiving anything in return, just want to take my time and satisfy her. I want this to be a one time thing with NO emotional effects. It is always hard to tell if there is a mutual attraction but I will say that we are both good looking people.


The kicker, I have been in a relationship for 3+ years with a girl who has been going through a lot the last year and a half. We do not have a sex life. She will go down on me every so often but that is basically it. I haven't seen her totally naked in more than a year. I do enjoy performing oral sex and miss it a lot. My g/f is from out of state so does go home to visit family and she gave me a hall pass before. I did not do anything during that time and we have never discussed it further.


Now the girl I want to give oral to is the only person I told about the "sex life" I have been experiencing. No one else. So she has sympathized with me on it. So I feel she will have an understanding of where I am coming from. But again, I don't want an emotional strings and want to make that clear to her as well. I just want it to be strictly physical and not ruin what we have. It is basically her helping me and getting oral in return.

How should I go about this? Any advice will be appreciated.

Ask Abbie: Kidult Daugther Moved Back Home

Dad Asks:

Hi I am a middle aged man recently had my daughter (adult) show up on my doorstep. She wants to live with me because it will be cheap and convenient while she goes to grad school. If you have upfront advice can help. And maybe ongoing need.

Thanks Dad

Ask Abbie: You Say He's Just A Friend

Am I More Than A Friend Asks:

I'm a well established young woman with an ok job, good man and decent social life. I've always prided myself in keeping good company and my current closest friend Paul defines that. He's great to hang out with, chat on the phone, and comforts or cheers me up when needed. Sounds great doesn't it?

I should be happy but I feel guilty. The other day I had an issue at work and as soon as I got home, I called Paul. Not my boyfriend. Paul. I'm starting to feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I don't sneak around with Paul, and nothing's happened but I rarely bring up my convos with Paul to my boyfriend (sometimes he doesn't even know what's going on). I love my boyfriend and we talk, emote, communicate, etc all the time but I still don't have with him what I have with Paul. Did I kid myself into thinking I could be platonic with a man? Should I have expected this?

Ask Abbie: Is Being a Single Father That Much of a Turn off?

Single Father Asks:

Hi there,

To tell you the truth, i ask myself daily, what is it about the mention of kids, people just up and run from me?

I look around, and i know quite a few guys out there that have children and refuse to care for them, but yet i see all of these guys dating and not caring for anyone but themselves.

I guess it just really bothers me that a man such as myself, has a job, pays my bills, takes responsibility for his actions, and takes care of his children is just frequently ignored by the fairer sex.

I only have my children Friday night thru Sunday night every week, and the rest of the week i just go thru the motions. Is it really that important that a Friday night and Saturday night be an available option when dating? Can't something like this be overlooked? There are so many confusing things when it comes to dating and being a father, and i just dont get any of it..

Can you enlighten me?

Ask Abbie: In Love With Another Woman

In Love With Another Woman Asks:

I am turning 52 this month. I've been happily married for nearly 25 years, we have three kids, the youngest of whom is 14, the oldest in college. I work at home, and several years ago, with my wife's full knowledge and consent, I hired a friend of ours, a mom I'll call Karen, to help me with my business. We got along fine, it was good for my business, a strictly working relationship, and she left after about 2 years to take a full time job.

She was a friend to both of ours, and she still came over often after her job ended, our kids were pals, etc. We walked dogs together. On one of these walks, she gave me a letter, asking me to read it later. When I did, it told me that she loved me, but she knew I was married, and that she couldn't keep relating to me the same way. We could no longer be friends.

The problem is, I'd fallen in love with her as well. I rushed to her and told her so. We spent a month talking tearfully back and forth before my wife found out. She was outraged, naturally, and I stopped all communication with Karen.

Ask Abbie: Losing Her To Her Work

Mr. Second To Her Career Asks:

So I have been dating this girl for a little over a year now. Things were great until her career started consuming her life and distancing her from me. Now, don't get me wrong, I want her to be successful but I feel neglected. I don't hear from her for extended periods of time, sometimes days. When I do hear from her all she really says is she is busy with work or to ask me to do something for her. At this point I feel like an unpaid intern on call 24 hours a day, rearranging my personal life to preform menial tasks for someone else for no compensation. 

Ask Abbie: Always A Cheater, Never Alone

Lost Asks:

Okay ....I'm a 39 year old man married for over 15 years....I have 2 kids who I love...Now here's my problem. ...I've never been faithful to my wife. She knows about the other women...but I promised every time to leave them alone... I've always looked and found someone to have sex with have fun with. ...everything you're supposed to do with your wife. I've had several girls on the side but one in particular has been there for years, over 10.... I know shame on me. ...I've wanted to leave and be with her but I would chicken out...Now that I really want to, she doesn't.... My question is how do you move on to loving your wife and not the other woman? Please help me...Signed lost..

Ask Abbie: So Glad She's Gone

Is it OK to feel better when your partner is gone?

Needs Solitude Asks:

I've been seeing someone for awhile. Love her, truly but I lack a connection somewhere. What I mean is she's been away and I haven't really missed her. I've thought about her and hope her trip is going well, but I think I dread her return somewhat. The solitude has been needed (I can't remember the last time I had all this time to myself) and I know I'll feel crowded and looked to for attention upon her return.

Plain truth is that I lack intimacy with her often. I don't really want to talk to her and tell her what's on my mind. I just want to be left alone, mostly. Sometimes it's fun to hang out together, but then I'll want to be left alone.

We've been together for years...

My head feels all f**ked up. My heart too.

Ask Abbie: The One Or The Hooker

Done Being A Virgin Asks:

im a college student but still a virgin, with no foreseeable options in the near future. thinking about getting a hooker, what do u think?

wait till i find the ONE or just fuck a whore....

Ask Abbie: Why Can't I Lose Weight?

Can't Lose Weight Asks:

Hello.. I can use some advice. Although, this is a very common topic and most people suffer from it, I wanted to explore a specific option.


I am 36 and lately I cannot keep off my weight. I am 6 feet (182 inches) tall and weight about 187 pounds. I try and exercise whenever I can (mostly cardio), however, I am unable to reduce weight. I was looking at one of two options and would love some advice from your position.


1. Weight loss pill - like lipozene. I have tried to research this on the web and some of the posts are really scary. I don't know how accurate the information is.


2. Testosterone - Is it possible that I might have low T count, which might be resulting in excess weight?Ideally I want to be in my 160-170 range, however, I am unable to lose a single pound.


Advice pls.

Ask Abbie: Wearing My Heart On My Kidney

(Source)

Kidney Ken Asks:

OK how do I tell a girl that I need a kidney transplant when I first meet her? Not that I want hers but this issue holds me back from seeking out women because I've been rejected before when I said I need one. So... how can I say "hi I am [name redacted] 42 5'11 170 pounds work in a condo O by the way any day now I could go into kidney failure don't worry I am on a kidney list and will be out of work for three months if I do get transplanted."


I really think women don't want nothing to do with me because of my sickness. It's hopeless.

Ask Abbie: My Sex And My Religion Don't Mix

 

Doubting Don Asks:

My main issue is religion. I was raised in a very strict community where you are not allowed to touch a girl before marriage, so basically the night of the wedding is the first night the opposite genders touch each other for the first time! I was very faithful, but lately I started to question and doubting, and I'm so confused about God and religion, I don't know what to do ...


And that's where sex comes in, because my urge for sex grew since I'm doubting if it's sinful.... I try to keep myself cool, but I'm so desperate.. I control myself and I'm very careful not to be stupid. But I am really feeling the heat.......

Ask Abbie: Should've Never Gotten Married

 
Not happy in his marriage but not happy about ending it... Time to do the right thing.

Mr. Should Not Have Gotten Married Asks:

Hi! Okay, here is one for you. I'm a 42 year old, married white male. I've been married 14 years and have 2 children. My wife was pregnant before we got married, pretty much the reason we got married. We had been together for 4yrs prior to her getting pregnant, one of those years we were broken up. When she found out she was pregnant she was living in Brooklyn and I had just moved across the country, we were basically going our separate ways. Instead we "did the right thing" and got married. We always fight and hold a lot of resentment toward each other. Neither of us are thriving in our relationship and we just seem to be sitting in a holding pattern. She constantly tells me how unhappy she is in the relationship and that she wants a divorce. We haven't had sex in 14 months. I think in the long term we would both be happier if we were divorced but the idea bothers me, our lives are so entwined and the thought of tearing it apart is very painful. Anyway, that's for starters.

I'm looking forward to hearing back from you.

Ask Abbie: How Can I Tell If She's Lying?

He contacted me with this question: How can I tell if she's lying? 

This one goes deeper than lies...

Whipped Willie Asks: 

Ok I need some advice. I'm a dude. Basically imma wrap a long ass story short...I met a girl on craigslist. Wanted me to critique her work. She ends up asking me to make love to her. Typical of me, I did. Says the sex was the most beautiful experience ever. Whatever. I get attached. She gets addicted. 

Ask Abbie: Victor the Virgo and His Flaky Pisces Fish

Victor our Virgo wants to make sure he doesn't blow it again with his super cute, confusing Pisces woman... and get through their date on Thursday night.

Victor the Virgo asks:

Well I am a Virgo male and I'm very interested in this super cute and amazing Pisces woman. We're still friends and we only fooled around 1 time in back in December. I told her that I cared for her too much to have sex when we are drunk so we stayed friends. I was courting her big time and she knew I wanted more than friends... we had such a great time these last 2 months. We had this trip to Miami Beach planned -- amazing Trump hotel suite over the ocean which I knew she would love. I was going to pay...but she canceled the trip, she said "too much pressure" ??? I was shocked and upset about this ... I sent some stupid texts to her. That's wrong I know so we did not text or talk at all for a week or so.