Lessons For The Socially Awkward

I've had more than one friend tell me I should teach classes or seminars on flirting, or just simply talking to new people. When I envision these classes, I see "hands-on" workshops, with lots of field trips to bars, networking events, the park, supermarket and I'd give my students assignments; collect one phone number, have at least an 6 minute conversation with 3 strangers (3 minute convos for beginners or intermediates), make a date or plans to meet someone, bring up your pet turtle or your last workout, naturally, in conversation et cetera, et cetera.

Show Yourself

Recently there's been some rumbling on my Twitter timeline about anonymous Tweeters--those who hide behind Twitter handles that don't have their real names (or part of their name) and those who don't use a real photo as their avatar or a photo at all (I don't acknowledge eggs).


I agree wholeheartedly that there should be some true representation of yourself in social media. Some people feel putting up a photo of yourself is "too much". Posting your photo doesn't mean you're sharing your SSN, or home address on Twitter (or Facebook). If you're that paranoid, stay off the web.


There's also that anonymous person on social media who hides behind the screen and antagonizes or simply annoys everyone, trolls posts to pick fights but not (hu)man enough to stand behind their words.


When I attend events, I run into people I already know in real life. Sometimes I also meet people who I've had extensive interaction with online. I know this because I recognize them from their avatars. Folks who approach me because they recognize me yet I've never seen their face don't get the same warm reception. That shouldn't surprise them; we gravitate towards people we know, people we are comfortable with. You're starting from scratch if you've remained anonymous despite the comments you've left on someone's FB photos or the fact that you've retweeted them a few times (read: incessantly). There won't be the same bond between two people who know what the other looks like.


It's proven that the more you're exposed to someone's face, the longer you view it, the more you'll view it favorably and even form a bond.


It's social media, it'd be nice to know who I'm socializing with.

*   *   *

My Nue York

This one's for Berman Fenelus

A few weeks ago my interest was piqued when I learned of the exhibit, Nue York: Self Portraits of a Bare Urban Citizen. I mentioned it my Raising My Hopes With Bob's Anuses post. Erica Simone took nude self-portraits of herself around NYC. I'm not going to be interested?


With all the press the opening was receiving, the event was very well attended. When I arrived the line to enter the Dash Gallery stretched all the way down Duane St. I almost kicked myself for not showing up at 6pm for the soft opening for press but the line was moving.


Kudos to security at the door. The RSVP list they had to weed through was pages long. It was alphabetical by first name. Easy entry for me.



Open bar was provided by Belvedere. I saw more of the brand than I did of her work for the first few minutes I was there--Belvedere glasses were stacked in all sorts of arrangements along the desk at the entry; the orange of screwdrivers, the reds and pinks of half-consumed vodka-crans and the greens of limes floating in vodka tonics.

Germ Warfare On The Social Sphere

I woke up on Friday morning feeling dry. Dry on the inside. Not "female dryness" (I hope to never have that problem) but nasotracheal dryness. I don't get sick often, but when I do, I know it's coming. And I'm pretty aware of how or when the virus invaded my body.


I was out the night before at the Bust Magazine Sex Issue release event. There was a vodka open bar and everyone was evicted from their personal space. The mixing and mingling spilled onto Delancey with French men and to the pizza shop with...


We can't avoid other people all the time - we still have interactions in the flesh. We're exposed to all things contagious - yawning, laughter and conjunctivitis. And that can take down the best social butterflies.