Pain, Pain, Go Away

I've had a uterus my entire life. We've had a very amicable relationship. At about 3 pm on Monday afternoon something upset her. She slowly grew enraged. But I was weathering her storm. At about 8 o'clock while I was trying to wind down she was just getting started. I text a friend about these newfangled pains I was experiencing. I wasn't doubled over but was definitely uncomfortable. They say it helps to talk about your problems; you gain insight on how to manage them, solve them or perhaps they'll even go away. I don't remember when I dozed off but at about 11pm I was woken by CM Punk screaming into the pipe bomb and my uterus screaming louder. What the what? I made myself a little more comfortable but was determined to sleep this off like I could sleep off other pains.


Shame on me for not having any pain meds at home but I'm rarely in pain. Moaning and whimpering, I stumbled around my bedroom at about 2:30ish in the morning. Pain blurred my vision. Pain made me sweat. Not doubled over in pain, uh, Abigail? Merely uncomfortable, Missy? I slumped over the bathroom sink for a while when a wave of nausea hit me. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's nausea and vomiting. That was the push I needed. I swallowed hard and had a heart-to-heart with the grimace in the mirror. I needed meds. But I couldn't walk straight due to the pain (my vagina was now singing backup). Never in my life had I experienced pain like this. Who are these women who deal with this every month?

Brazilian Outlaw

Does this border on genital mutilation? A procedure that can rip off skin and lead to infection and hospitalization. In New Jersey, the Cosmetology and Hairstyling Board considered banning the Brazilian wax because two women were injured recently. They’ve decided not to pursue the ban because salon owners complained of a loss of business for the upcoming summer months. A Brazilian wax isn’t actually allowed under law (genital waxing is the term on the books), but like most things, under the somewhat watchful eye of Big Brother it slipped through the cracks.


Have you ever had a Brazilian wax? I’ve never even waxed my legs. Shaving and depilatory creams are my modus operandi and I can get my area smooth as the day I was born. Depending on when we meet, I may be sporting the complete spit shine or it’ll be prickly stubble. The sides will be bare so there’s nothing reaching out from the sides of my underwear and everything else will be trimmed low. Or I do the top heavy, naked lip look. Landing strips have never been my thing and you won’t catch me dying my pubes either. Cleanliness and comfort are my main objectives. No need to be in pain to acquire it either. There isn’t any beauty regimen I undergo that’s excruciating (I’m not very girlie, anyway). 


To wax or not to wax (or “shave”). Every one has a preference. Some men like their woman to have pubic hair so they feel like they’re with a woman and not a child. Then again others like the totally bare look so they can see everything and crave the youthful look of no pubic hair. Does your partner like when you’re waxed? Do they even care? To undergo the pain of the Brazilian wax – is it worth it?