Why Ruin My Surprise For The Sake Of Your Baby Clothes Shopping?

This Man Will Dress His Baby in Weird Reds and Dark Whites all in Celebration of Womanhood

Guest Post By StarPower

I really don't want to know my baby's sex until it's born. I'm not very concerned about people not knowing what color clothes to buy him/her. Sorry, I love my folks, but that's nonsense. And I know there are only, like, 10 colors (People say there are mad colors, but when pressed they just name variations of the real colors. There's only red, orange, yellow, blue, green, black, white, grey, purple and brown and probably teal. Beige and honey and all that is either dark white or light brown. All those auburns and maroons and rusts are either weird browns or weird reds. Anything indigo or violet or magenta is filed under off-blues or shades of purple. And orange basically covers anything that looks like it's not red or yellow but close. There are other colors but certain animals can see them, not us. Still, we do alright with the 9 or 10 we have.). But that means you have 8 to choose from, including their thousands of variations.

Telling Time On My Biological Clock

Last Friday, I got a phone call. I didn't recognize the number but I answered because it could've been a potential employer calling.

"Hello," I said.

"Mom?" a little boy asked on the other end.

This was the first time I had ever been called that, even if it was a mistake. People tend to assume I have children and are surprised when I tell them that I don't. But it's weird, I paused, thinking, "Am I?" I think I said "hello" again or "what?" or "excuse me". He asked again, "Mom?"