I'm Giving It Up

We're facing the last few weeks of summer and quite possibly hot, torrid summer affairs. For my readers in the Southern Hemisphere, I'm sure you're enjoying the canoodling on cold winter nights...


Now believe it or not, I don't have any new stories to share about summer love, romance or lust. But I'd love to hear yours! Did you meet someone new? Spice up a long-term relationship? Platonic friendship evolve into something more? Have a cyber relationship? Experience a great one-night stand? Break any furniture?


Leave a comment for a chance to win a signed copy of my book, The Darker Side of Lust and your choice of a 4x6 print from my Man. Toy. photo series.


Share as much or as little as you'd like but include the following fun details: city and state (US only), country, astrological sign (Western, Vedic or Chinese) of you and your partner(s).


If you're entering the giveaway and already have a copy -- tell us your favorite story from The Darker Side of Lust.

The winner will be chosen on September 6, 2010 (Labor/Labour Day in US & Canada).

    

Racist Vagina

I have a Rosa Parks coochie; it aint getting up off black dick for nothing. I figured I’d choose a well-known historical Black figure to illustrate my point. John Mayer caught major heat for saying he doesn’t like to partake in sexual congress with Black women. I don’t see a problem with that. I think folks took it real personal because he chose such a polarizing figure like David Duke to illustrate his racial preference in sexual partners. If he had said he didn’t like to have sex with fat girls or skinny bitches, there would’ve been a lot of nodding along while folks read that interview too. 




We all have our preferences. Some racial, some not. Some of us would never be as vocal about them but we have them. I’m sure before John Mayer, you’ve heard your friends or friends of friends say they “only date white girls” or they “only date black guys”. Having racial preferences is nothing new (neither is having preferences of any kind); It’s called “having a type”. And I believe some of the Black women who were snaking their necks and rolling their eyes don’t like white men anyway. What I had a problem with was Mr. Mayer talking about having a “nigger pass”...and that might be the only problem I had with his interview—keep that word out your mouth, Mr. Mayer…

2009: A Year In My Life

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but I used to make a list of goals I wanted to accomplish during the upcoming year. The list usually included bullet points like make new friends/rekindle old friendships, learn to drive (I have a 4-year old learner’s permit) and something to do with my work or creativity. I haven’t made that list for the past two years, but that didn’t mean I was any less aware or focused on accomplishing certain goals.

Office Romance Expat

Since January, I haven't been part of the world of "traditional" employment. Office politics, punching time clocks and useless meetings can go crawl up somebody's butt. But I couldn't help but wondering about all the juicy stuff I was missing out on. The sex, lies and videotapes (big brother is always watching). The office romance. Even if you don't get involved with someone you work with, many a person's love life revolves around work. You meet your significant other at work, after work, on your way to work etc. All the rush hour jostling on the subway allows you to get a feel and whiff of your partner, you chat and learn what their interests are, who they be with, things that make them smile, what numbers to dial....

I don't get to spend 8 hours a day in close proximity to potential mates or attractive men (or men who will appear attractive over time), no office parties to in which to embarrass myself (thankfully, I was never that girl). At my last job, I did have a work crush, but didn't act on it. I had the opportunity to counsel coworkers on their relationships and had male coworkers to practice my feminine wiles on. Without guaranteed interaction with other people will my social skills falter? Will I suddenly become awkward or inept around men I'm attracted to? Or am I destined to pairing up with a man who's a freelancer like myself? I can imagine how much fun it is to see your babe at work everyday. You sneak glances as you slink by each others' cubicle or send dirty IMs, wink and blow kisses during meetings. Or picture this scenario, the elevator doors are about to close when you hear a familiar voice call out, "Hold the elevator!" It's them! The third wheel gets off the elevator a few floors before the two of you, then you proceed to grope like octopuses and find out what the other had for breakfast. Or you cop feels at the coffee machine. Ah, office romance...

Master Or Mistress

Disclaimer: If you enter into a committed monogamous relationship, you owe it to your partner and yourself to remain that way. If the relationship goes sour and it's not worth saving, then move on. Open relationships or non-exclusive relationships are just that, open. 

It happened to me twice; I got involved with a married man. I say it that way because I didn't know they were married when we first got involved and when I found out, I didn't move at lightning speed to end contact with them. I was pissed. They weren't honest with me like I was with them. One waited until things got hot and heavy and then decided they really liked me and should tell me the truth. After that experience, I've been on guard. So the second guy, I had to ask. He wasn't going to tell me. When I did ask, that scared him off. He didn't answer the question just walked away, literally. Two things he wanted to know as he was walking out the door were, was I going to kick him and if I was going to protest (meaning stop having sex with him). Looking back, I think he felt that was his only recourse in what he perceived to be a power struggle; end it with her before she ends it with me (this is my hindsight insight).

Naked

Skin is the largest organ in the body. I love to expose mine. I spend the majority of my time naked (if it’s cold, I wear socks). I’m comfortable nude, whether I’m by myself or with others. And for me being nude heightens everything. My skin is exposed; I’m subject to different touches, textures, temperatures. I like to see my body in motion. It’s a wonderful machine, I watch my muscles flex, my skin becoming wet from sweat and plumping up. Being naked is healthy. I know right away when something’s not right with my body. I’m in tune with her. I know what it looks like and I know when something changes.

It’s very unfortunate that some people, because they aren’t comfortable in their own skin, do not get completely nude during sex, or ever! As soon as they hop out the shower, they cover up, and remain that way. It is possible to be nude and non-sexual. However, humans are sexual and being nude can heighten sexuality. Sex is a lot more than exploring all my holes. There’s always a point, either before or after, when I’m with a lover where I’m just watching him. He’ll ask, “What you looking at?” I state the obvious, “You,” and continue my visual study. I’m either admiring him purely as a physical being or I’m watching what he’s thinking; I can almost see what’s going on in his head. Add the mental aspect of sex to the feel of skin-to-skin; allowing access to every inch of your body and there’s nothing better.

I got into nude modeling in 2006. A photographer was working on a project in which he wanted to showcase real women. We range in size & shape, have lopsided breasts, stretch marks, scars and hair in places we’d rather not. I also wanted to document who I was at that moment in time. I’ll have these photos to look back on 20, 30, 40 years from now. My changes and different stages of beauty are forever chronicled. Unless the nature of my photo shoot is sexual or erotic, your eyes are drawn to the human body art form. When a photo is blurred or a model is strategically draped, the viewer is left wondering what’s behind or under the veil. The more you hide something, the more taboo it becomes. My body is not taboo.