Dude, Your Privilege is Showing

I'm going to pass on today. Juggling money and time this week. Sorry for the last min! Maybe next week when finances are better! I sent that message to a potential date. The night before I told him I could give him an answer in the morning on whether or not we'd meet that day or later date (I was waiting to see if a direct deposit would go through).

When I say no, I mean no. I don't say, "no, not this time", or "you're really nice but, no", or even "no, thank you". In this situation I said I'd pass and when my finances were better we could meet.

I thought I was pretty clear. He even got more of an explanation than I usually give most people.


His cherry-topped response: Boo.. I think you are getting cold feet. It's happy hour, $20 would go a long way...


That's when I knew I was dealing with one of those men, a bro in gentleman's clothing up until the point they don't get what they want. 

Oh well. I wasn't meeting him so I hadn't lost anything. I shrugged it off and messaged him back: If that's what you choose to believe, so be it. I'm not here to "convince" you. I'm aware of my finances and obligations this time of year.

I put my phone down and went about my business. When I checked it later on I saw there was a message. From him.

Don't get bent out of shape... I was just saying it would have been a cheap meeting. We can do it another time when you are more available. :)

And now he was showing me he was like the men who police a woman's reaction, emotion or response to a situation. I wasn't "bent out of shape" when I emailed him back; I merely used punctuation. But had he truly pissed me off, then I would be pissed. See how that works? If something or someone causes a reaction of any emotion, the woman has the right to feel and express said emotion.

Your assumption that I was getting "bent out of shape" is wrong. His response was "Glad to hear it" with another goddamn smiley. I didn't respond.

But back to his comment about it being a cheap meeting. I understand the concept of happy hour and that drinks cost less during happy hour than at other times at establishments that have a happy hour. I also was aware of how much extra money or "play" money I had. What's cheap or inexpensive to some is not for others. Simple as that. I had a similar exchange while discussing the recent armored truck robbery in The Bronx. I expressed the fact that $78,000 is a lot of money to some people. It was clearly enough, or sufficient, or enticing enough for those men to risk death or prison to rob that truck. On any given week, someone may not have $20 extra dollars for drinks at a bar. That $20 could go towards groceries, necessary toiletries, a minimum payment on a credit card, laundry or new underwear. The gap between the rich and the poor continues to widen and it seems like the rich are becoming more and more oblivious to the plight of the other 99%.

Needless to say, I have since become "more available" and have not contacted him.

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