Saturday, May 23, 2009

Single Occupancy Lifestyle

I’ve been single for almost 3 years. I’m always on the go. It’s nice to be busy. And living in New York there’s always something to do and some place to go. I love going places. I invite friends along but with all the flakes, scaredy-cats and unknowingly depressed folks, I end up going out alone. Believe it or not, going out by myself is easy. It’s not sad or lonely or scary. I’m always bound to meet someone. If not a new friend, a new person-of-the-moment. My single life doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around waiting to be in a relationship before I do anything. Depending on where I’m going, I get a high off being in a new place. What’s going to happen? Who’s going to make me laugh? It’s my experience. If you don’t want to come along, I’ll tell you about it later as you gaze at me with envy.

When I was at my lowest and most unhappy, I was staying home, missing out on things I wanted to do because my other half didn’t want to go. The mistakes young people make…

I’ve had to break this whole “single gal in the city” lifestyle down to competitive ladies. Think of it as a game. The more places you go, the more points you get. I accumulate points in the form of new friends, professional contacts, creative collaborators, acquaintances, suitors, inspiration and experience. I continue to live a life without being in a relationship. When I do couple up, my playmate should be suitable competition. I won’t match up well with a man who spent most of his time going to work and then going home and parking himself in front of the television. My love of life, my energy attracts a certain type of man. I have attracted intense-cum-crazy-cum-too-attached guys, but for the most part I attract what I like; creative, open-minded, outgoing, emotional.

Now it doesn’t mean I’m single and on the prowl. Do you understand the joy of coming home after a long night out and flopping onto your bed without a snoring man who won’t stay on his side of the bed? After living with a man for 3 years, it’s heaven. My objective when I go out isn’t to hook up with a random dude. Call me crazy, but I’m not opposed to one-night stands or first-date hookups, but I still don’t understand the drunk make out/hook-up as an objective. However, for the single women who wonder why they never meet anyone, it may be because you’re never anywhere to meet anyone. I love hanging out with my girls. It’s necessary. But it’s easier for a man to approach a woman who’s by herself than with a group of cackling, eye-rolling homegirls.

But I digress; I know experiencing this single life now will help me with compromise in the future. I’m exposed to so much now that I’ll be open to trying new things with “him” when we’re in a relationship. He won’t spend fruitless hours trying to convince me to try new things (I can be rather stubborn), because I’ll know situations usually turn out better than expected. The bad or boring situations can be chalked up to experience as well.

1 comment:

  1. You're right it is nice to be busy! You live content and happily overall when you're feeding your interests, be it in art, music, literature. I applaud you for being brave/comfortable enough with yourself to go out even if no one else is down. I'm sure you had plenty of nights that would've turned out better that way anyway.


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