Friday, November 19, 2010

This Blog Is About You

A few days ago, I mused randomly on Twitter: Each time I write a story about someone, they're gone from my life (bed) soon after. It's like a sexual obituary.

I don't blog about my current paramours, flings, partners (pick a word). It just so happens at a reading I participated in last night, another author mentioned she wrote a book about her lover and then they broke up. She told us she definitely learned her lesson. I do blog about my friends if there's something fun or funny, amazing, karmic, sweet or ingenious that happened. But I won't get too personal or give too many identifiable details about them.

We live in a tell-all society where everyone wants to know-all about everyone else but themselves.

Plus, I just like to keep some things between me and the other person. It strengthens the bond.

So the day after my birthday, I reached out to a friend. I found out late the evening before that he was going through bereavement. I felt terrible that I didn't know. I could've been a better friend. I think it had only been two weeks since we last saw each other but it felt like so much longer. So I told him I wanted to see him that night to talk. I could feel the apprehension in his text: Oh you wanna talk?

Gentlemen, I swear, when I say I want to talk to you, it's because I care and want to know what's going on. Don't be nervous.

I laid it all out there to him -- I wanted to see how he was doing, give him a hug, lie in bed with him and talk. He said he just might stop by so we could talk (he was gonna make me sweat as per usual) but he did end up coming over.

So when he comes over, after our hello's and a few laughs, we retire to the bedroom. We're lying in bed together, as we've done before (not naked, get your minds out of the gutter), talking. At one point he mentioned he'd been reading my blogs and he wanted to be on it. At first I thought he meant he wanted to guest blog or something but he clarified that he wanted me to write about him. I was a little surprised but then I told him that I don't usually write about people in my life yada yada yada...  My blog is personal, but I have a good handle on the balance between being personal, honest and disclosure. He understood.

Plus I love having him in my life. I don't want to jinx that.

I still think about what went down that night. He traveled in the rain to come see me, to spend time with me. It was great reconnecting, sharing with him, being physically close to him. The more face time I spend with someone the happier it makes me, the closer I feel to them. If I can talk to someone and they feel they can talk to me, that's a great feeling. He understands me. I told him I wanted to lie in bed and talk and he gave me exactly what I wanted. I'm so touched by that. He wanted me to write about him on my blog. I gave him what he wanted.

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