Personal Belongings

I took my usual people-watching stance at the Laundromat this morning, partly because it was way more crowded than I had expected so getting worked up and harried wasn’t worth it, it was pretty early (for me, anyway) and I only had one load of laundry to do.

For those of us who don’t have the luxury of a washing machine at home or a laundry room in the basement of our apartment building, there is the world of the Laundromat. Laundry is a personal thing that we do in a public place. My clothes were in the midst of being churned in soap and water when a Jewish woman dragged a huge black garbage bag into the Laundromat, hoisted it up and plopped it right into one of the wheeled baskets. I’ll admit, I just watched but nothing about what happened jumped out at me until the Jamaican guy dressed in a white T-shirt and paint-splattered “work pants” told her the carts dem fa clean clothes and why she a come up in dey and dutty dem up. She asked why it would be dirty and he told her because she had just dragged the bag along the ground. She nodded in realization, then smirked and shrugged it off. She had no intention of taking her bag out of the cart until other folks started giving her dirty looks over her dirty clothes. The older Hispanic woman who I encountered earlier that was “using” a machine (with nothing in it) that I had asked about was loading two other machines that the Jewish woman inquired about, and didn’t get.

Eaten Alive

Oral sex is a fun, bonding activity. For me, it is a necessity. It is always part of the act of sexual congress in which I partake. When I lost my virginity, the guy spent a great deal of gentle, satisfying time down there. So that’s all I know – sex with an appetizer. I won’t accept anything less.

However, I’m sure I’m speaking directly to a woman out there who has been victim to the partner whose main objective is to actually remove the clitoris from your body and consume it. They, in fact, are out to eat your pussy. Now, how do we protect ourselves in these situations, or thwart attacks all together? It’s hard to size up your opponent on some occasions. He may be a wonderful, spry kisser and then get down there and try to devour you. Once an attack as started how can you ensure survival? You can try silence. Don’t moan, gasp , coo, nothing. Hearing no cries of passion may clue the eater to the fact that it doesn’t feel good and they should try something else. Unfortunately, this technique can backfire if it spurs more fervent eating in an attempt to elicit moans.

His physical assault may warrant a physical attack of your own. Many have attempted to crush the skull between the thighs. A more diplomatic technique is to apply firm pressure to the forehead with the heel of your palm in a downward and outward motion. This should command their attention at which point you can redirect them. If that doesn’t work and the forehead thrust is mistaken for “oh, that feels so good she can’t take no more”, next step is to close up shop. To complete this maneuver, begin with the forehead thrust, lift one leg over the head of your assailant and place it on your other leg, sealing the thighs shut. It is also suggested that you scoot your hips away to remove the clamburger from view.

If you have any lifesaving tips, please share. No one wants to be human prey. The previous tips, as well as your input, can save a sister from being eaten alive.