Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Porn The Way I Like It



I watch porn. I go through my moments where I binge. Clicking through pornhub to view the latest uploads. It's funny, the majority of the time I don't watch porn for arousal it's more curiosity or boredom. Over the years, I developed certain tastes, there are certain elements I must have in the porn and things I don't want to see. I'm sure the psychoanalysts are lining up to take notes.




Nothing longer than 5 minutes

I don't need a scene longer than 5 minutes. I may click on a particular video because of the thumbnail but I assure you I'm skipping over any stripteases, blowjobs or attempts at dialogue or acting. 5 minutes is really all I need in porn to get the point.


Anal

I like to watch anal sex scenes. The view is great. You get to see the pussy and witness penetration. I'm partial to anal sex in missionary/spread eagle or spooning/scissors scenes. Very few doggy-style scenes do it for me. I don't like when the woman is on top. The pile driver is a bit much. If you catch me on a good day, I may watch that for more than a few seconds. Two girls with toys? Brazilian Shemales? Put it in the butt. But please, enough with the spit. Use lube.


Short finger nails

I hate to see women with long fingernails in porn. I don't know how that can possibly feel good, getting your insides scrapped with acrylic. And for hygienic reasons, I cringe when I see solo or girl-on-girl scenes featuring women with talons.


No Monster Cocks

I'd rather watch a penis that can remain erect, thank you. It's so frustrating for me to watch porn where the dude has to hold his penis the entire time. And you have the women cooing about having this big dick fucking her, when barely the head is inside her or if more is inside or there's no thrust because it's soft.


No kissing

This aint a romance or softcore on Showtime or Cinemax. Leave the making out for another time. I watch porn for sex, not kissing.


Toys and/or squirting

When I watch porn where the participants use toys (solo masturbation, fuck machines, bondage/forced orgasm, sybians), I'm usually rewarded with the visual of a squirting orgasm. I also love to see couples use toys in porn. To me it's more realistic that a woman would have an orgasm with a vibe on her clit while being penetrated by... whatever. And you know I'm a realist!


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3 comments:

  1. I really love porn, but I watch it purely for arousal reasons. Therefore, I mostly watch what would be called "feminist porn" and most of it is lesbian. Another personal favorite - and strong preference. Sometimes I'll watch straight porn because I love cream pies and double penetration.

    But other than that, I can't stand the acting of it. So frustrating. Girls with fake moans, watching the camera. Even the amateur stuff has a strong scent of Porn Industry written all over it. Bleh - not really my speed.

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  2. Wow- I guest porn tastes are just as diverse as people...and porn. lol! I absolutely hate anal- it just ruins it for more me. I too skipp through dialouge and blowjobs and agree that the spit thing is disgusting. I actually had a man do that to me and I damn near kicked him in his throat! WTF!! it's gross.
    I watch porn for various reasons but mostly out of boredom. I hate pornhub in particular and prefer sites where real people are uploading their REAL sex... like nudeafrica.com-

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    Replies
    1. Yup, diversity is what makes the world go 'round. There's a market (or dark corner (HA!)) for everyone. I smh at the dude who spit on you. It's so obvious the men who've learned tricks and technique from porn -- never translates into real life. I've never been to nudeafrica.com -- I'll check the out next time I'm bored for porn. It's been a while!

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