Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Chris Hansen Caught Another One



FADE IN:



STONE PHILLIPS
A warning, some of what you are about
to see and hear is explicit.

INT. KITCHEN – CONDO – NIGHT

ABIGAIL enters. She looks around the modern kitchen, impressed with the digs. She walks by the stove, running her fingers along the steel surface. She stops in front of the fridge. She studies the LCD screen on the door.

CHRIS HANSEN enters wearing a black sports jacket over a brown turtleneck carrying a small stack of papers.

CHRIS HANSEN
That’s a pretty impressive fridge,
isn’t it?

Abigail turns to him and nods.

ABIGAIL
Yeah, is that a control panel or
an actual TV?

Chris posts up next to the center island. Abigail eyes him with intense sexual interest. He places the papers down on the countertop.

CHRIS HANSEN
(motions to a
 bar stool)
Why don’t you go ahead and have
a seat?





Abigail climbs onto the bar stool opposite Chris. She places a plastic bag and her handbag on the counter. Her legs dangle, too short to reach the rung on the stool.

CHRIS HANSEN
So what brings you over here tonight?

ABIGAIL
We made a date.

CHRIS HANSEN
So you’re here to see me?

ABIGAIL 
Yeah.

CHRIS HANSEN
What’s in the bag?

Abigail pushes the plastic bag down towards the table revealing a bottle of wine.

CHRIS HANSEN
I see you brought wine. For our date?

ABIGAIL
(exhales)
Yes…

          CHRIS HANSEN
Would you like some sweet tea?

          ABIGAIL
I want some wine.

CHRIS HANSEN
(puts his hand
 up)
We’ll get to that in a minute.
(gestures towards
 her)
And you even got dressed up for the
evening.

ABIGAIL
Yeah… you have to look good for a
first date.

CHRIS HANSEN
What color panties are you wearing?

ABIGAIL
Red.

CHRIS HANSEN
Just like the panties you said you’d
wear tonight. I have the transcripts
right here.

Abigail eyes the papers he places his finger on, noticing his well-manicured fingernails.

                        ABIGAIL
You printed our chat?
(smiles)
It was pretty freaky…

CHRIS HANSEN
 (reads)
‘What color panties do you want me to
wear?’ ‘Oh, I don’t know… red’ ‘Ok,
I’ll wear red.’ ‘Red panties or thongs?’ ‘Panties. I’m over thongs.’

He peers at Abigail.

CHRIS HANSEN
So you wanna explain yourself?

ABIGAIL
Explain what? We made plans to hook up!

CHRIS HANSEN
(raises his eyebrows)
You think that’s ok?

He straightens up putting his left arm across his chest and his right hand on his chin.

                        CHRIS HANSEN
…for two people to make this sort
of arrangement over the internet?

ABIGAIL
Two consenting adults.

CHRIS HANSEN
You say you want to,
(reads)
‘blank my blank while I blank in your
blank.’ That’s what you mean when you
say ‘hook up’?

ABIGAIL
Yeah that’s what’s people usually do.

CHRIS HANSEN 
So you’ve done this before?

ABIGAIL
Uh-huh.

CHRIS HANSEN
What’s the oldest man you’ve ever been
with?

ABIGAIL
48.

CHRIS HANSEN
48. And in our chat you said you’re 30
years old.

ABIGAIL
Yeah, I am.

CHRIS HANSEN
I’m 52.

ABIGAIL
You look good for your age.
     (winks)

His eyebrows climb even higher on his forehead.

CHRIS HANSEN
48 year olds, 52 year olds, these are
the men you go after on the internet?

ABIGAIL
Yeah. They know what they’re doing at
that age.

CHRIS HANSEN
Oh, I’d say you know what you’re doing.
You’re online, luring middle-aged men.

                        ABIGAIL
I didn’t lure-

CHRIS HANSEN
 (reads)
‘I bet you’d be amazing at’ slang for
oral sex. You wrote that.

ABIGAIL
Yeah… What, you don’t do that? Cause this
aint gonna work if you don't do that.

CHRIS HANSEN
Did you bring condoms?

ABIGAIL
Yes.

CHRIS HANSEN
Did you bring toys?

ABIGAIL
Toys?

CHRIS HANSEN
Yes, sex toys. Here you say,
(points at the page,
 reads)
‘sex can be extra exciting if we use
toys while you blank me.’
(makes eye contact
 with her)
And then you go on to explain in explicit detail how wet things will get.

Abigail shrugs in admission.

CHRIS HANSEN
You use words like ‘waterfalls’,
‘shower’, ‘hose’ to explain what
you’re capable of and how I could
bring you to
(reads)
‘heights of ecstasy’.

ABIGAIL
Yeah, but-

CHRIS HANSEN
What do you have to say for yourself?

ABIGAIL
We can just talk for now.

CHRIS HANSEN
Talk.
(nods)
So why would you bring condoms and toys
if you say you just want to talk?

He crosses his hands.

ABIGAIL
We can talk for now, but that’s not all
I came over here for. I mean, if you
changed your mind, let me know now.

CHRIS HANSEN
Before we get to that, there’s something
you should know. You’re on Dateline NBC.

ABIGAIL
I know. I hit you up on Dateline because
I wanted a date. That’s what you go on
Dateline for.

CHRIS HANSEN
And what made you contact me?

ABIGAIL
Your profile pic. Very handsome. And those
turtlenecks you wear! Yum!

CHRIS HANSEN
Oh, I know you like turtlenecks because
here you say,
(looks at chat log)
you really like the turtlenecks I wear
and wondered if I had a turtleneck that
I couldn’t take off.

ABIGAIL
(bites her bottom lip)
Oh yeah…

CHRIS HANSEN
I don’t think you were referring to my wardrobe. What did you mean by that?

ABIGAIL
I wanted to know if you were cut or not.

Chris places both palms on the countertop and leans in, his shoulders hunched forward.

CHRIS HANSEN
Now tell me, do you think that’s an
appropriate question to ask someone
you want to have sex with?

Abigail shoots the camera a “Jim Halpert” glance. When she looks back at him, Chris shows her printouts of pornographic photos.

CHRIS HANSEN
Did you send these?

Abigail examines the printouts of her lady-parts. She nods and slides the paper back across the countertop to him.

                        CHRIS HANSEN
Why would you do that? Help me
understand.

ABIGAIL
We were sexting, Chris.

CHRIS HANSEN
Sexting.
(nods)

Abigail never takes her eyes off him. She leans back on the stool and reaches into her front hip pocket. She takes out her cell phone.

ABIGAIL
I still have the pics you sent me.

CHRIS HANSEN
Well,
(pause)
If there’s anything else you’d like
to say, now would be time. Otherwise
we’re free to go to the bedroom at
any time.

Abigail winks at the camera. Chris takes off his sports jacket and drops it on the floor as he walks out the kitchen. She hops off the bar stool and follows him out.

ABIGAIL
Tell me the truth, how many times
have you read our chat?

Chris doesn’t answer. He’s pulling his turtleneck off over his head.

ABIGAIL
Will Stone Phillips be here?




FADE OUT.

















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