Wednesday, March 9, 2011


I had a pretty great workout last night. Great post-workout shower. Then meditated for 10 measly minutes. I haven't been able to get back to 20+ minute meditation sessions for about a month.

There's a knot on the left side of my back - rhomboids and lower trap. It hurts. I know part of it is due to structural issues but it's also due to stress.

During my recent meditation(s), I repeatedly have to drop my bottom jaw, releasing the tension. Sometimes I realize how tight I'm gripping my stones. No bueno. I'm not sure if I'm a tooth-grinder at night, but sometimes as I'm drifting off to sleep, I notice my fists are clenched. Even in sleep, there are moments when I'm not relaxed.

The next time you're waiting for the train or in line at Starbucks take a moment to become aware of the level of tension in your body. Are you fists clenched? Shoulders touching your ears? Jaw tight? Ass checks clenching a piece of thread? Toes forming a fist in your shoes? When your cell phone rings or vibrates make note of your physical reaction. Ringtones are an attempt to sugarcoat the intrusion to our lives.

Think about those nagging aches and pains. Yes, some of them are due to poor posture, being overweight, muscle imbalances, but others are stress-related.

When Tae Bo first went mainstream circa 1998, I was a disciple. At the end of one of the Advanced Tae-bo Live! workouts, Billy Blanks has us tighten all the muscles of our body, starting with our feet, we work our way up, keeping the other muscles loose until we're instructed to tighten them - adding them to the chain. Once our entire bodies are tight we hold it for about 30 seconds then release. That feeling of letting go, the tingle, the endorphins (or lactic acid) - I'm in dire need of that feeling.

A good scream.

Or to bite something pliable enough for my jaw to move but just tough enough so my teeth never meet.

A huge shit. A major metaphorical dump.

Maybe some laughter yoga.

I love to relax. I'm great at indulging my cravings and desires. Lately, necessity and lack of resources have trumped that. And it's taking a toll.

So I will continue to meditate even if it's only for 10 minutes. I always feel better and think better when I do. I'll find time to dance with abandon. If I wasn't exercising during this transition, I'd probably start losing my hair or some other drastic physical or mental change. I'm very attune to the signs of depression in myself and in others. Thankfully, I'm not in that dark place. I'll spend quality time with quality people. Hopefully receive that much needed massage. Every little bit counts.

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