Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Reboot



I'm at a starting point in my life right now. Life is broken up into different phases. Cycles. I believe, 30 years a piece.

Since college, my marriage, jobs, depression, quitting, another job, being laid off, freelancing, creating -- it's all lead up to this.



30 years in November.

I had no clue when I requested that the judge give me until February that February would be "it". It's time for a fresh start. It's always a hassle to move, but it's a necessary evil. I could smudge this apartment everyday and still not feel right. The energy in here isn't conducive to me anymore.

Savings account balance: $0.21

So I am literally starting from scratch. I'm grateful that I had money to live off of these past few months. There have been so many roadblocks which sucked my funds dry. Again, who knew the money would run out right at the end/beginning.

I've revisited my novel a few times recently. Like Morgan, my protagonist, I went through the process of looking back while packing and cleaning. I got closure that I didn't even realize I needed. What's left are my clothes, books and certain cherished keepsakes. And the future looks bright.

March 15: Self-imposed deadline, at which point, I'll have some more major decisions to make.

I do have lapses where I just lie there (no matter where I happen to be) staring at the ceiling, overwhelmed... then I remember I have a job career awaiting me that I will love.

Paris awaits.

Italy awaits.

Amazing art awaits.

Letters To My Former Self awaits.

My next mate (legal husband or not) awaits.

My babies await.

Then I jump off the couch.

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