Thursday, March 21, 2013

Ask Abbie: The One Or The Hooker



Done Being A Virgin Asks:


im a college student but still a virgin, with no foreseeable options in the near future. thinking about getting a hooker, what do u think?

wait till i find the ONE or just fuck a whore....


its so difficult bc i wanna hold out for the right one but how am i ever gonna be sure about it? i havent even dated in college or high school bc im waiting for the right ONE. forget being a virgin, i havent even kissed and im 25 years old. getting very desperate. im decent looking as girls have approached me back in high school about going out but i wasnt interested in them and didnt wanna go out with them just for the sake of it. 7 years later, im all lonely. :(


i have religious restrictions and i wanna limit myself to sex after marriage but temptations are all around and its so hard to hold back. i see all these gorgeous women around me everyday and its so tempting to taste their forbidden bodies but yet i hold back. i dont think i can for long thou. if I don't find someone pretty soon to marry, i'll prob get arranged. Which sux. but since i dont have guts to approach a real woman and prob dont wan't a LTR, it seems easier to fuck a hooker and get it over with. yet all this is against what i believe. belief vs basic urges.....so confused.


If I get a hooker, then I would be internally at conflict. But for the moment I'm sure I'd love it.



Ask Abbie Answers:


You have to decide whether your natural urges deserve to be fulfilled. It's clear that you want to have sex. But it doesn't sound as though you believe you will lose your virginity to a woman who you will spend your life with. Would you be racked with guilt if you had sex with a "pro"?  Do you intend on having sex with only one person in your life? If you can answer those questions for yourself it'll help you decide your next steps.


There might be a middle ground -- a girl friend of yours who you could lose your virginity to or you could start dating someone and have sex with them. You're right, you may not be sure that the one is in fact "the one". They may be "the one-to-lose-your-virginity-to". Since you're willing to get a hooker, I'm assuming you're not feeling that morally obligated to wait for a committed relationship. So in working within your religious restrictions if you have sex with someone you really like or love, care about, have affection towards, trust, the sex will still be meaningful. That's something to consider other than a hooker.


But if you do want to wait for the one, you have to start dating. That's the only way you're going to get to know women, figure out what you like and don't like, learn how to interact with women... all that before the sex. Then you can figure out if you can handle sex (if you decide to have sex before marriage) if you still want to wait or if you want to hire a hooker.


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If you have a dating & relationship, sex, fitness, health, nutrition or body image question, send me an email or fill out the form on my website About page or Written Word page.

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