Lay Your Hands On Me

Back in the Saddle

Source

Yes, this encounter includes a massage, just like my story of the same name, but this one ends differently. It begins differently too.


On a Sunday night, I, minding my business, checked my phone and saw 3 new text messages from George*.They'd been sent almost 2 hours prior. I was in another room yucking it up with friends and hadn't heard my phone ring.


I turned down George's invite to go over to his place. It was late and I had settled in to do some writing for the night. He revealed he was alone and figured he'd ask anyway. No harm, no foul. I teased him that he was gonna guilt me into saying yes but I really had to do my writing. If things were different on my end I would've just invited him over.


Text from George: No problem. just come here :)


I told him I wouldn't get much writing done at his place. For one of the few times in my life I didn't mean that with any adult or sexual undertone. I figured it would be like the first night George and I met and I went over to his place -- we'd sit and talk, he'd play his instruments, we'd sip on orange juice, he'd light up, we'd discuss art and the artist's life...


That's not what he had in mind this time.

He Only Plays with Pussies

Back in the Saddle

The first pussy he played with that day

It all started with his question: Want to meet? I was down. It'd been about a year since we'd last seen each other.


Wait, here's a little backstory:  I read an article about Bushwick and they mentioned his cafe. I sent him the text: Bonjour! Ca va? It's been a long time! I told him about the article I'd read, asked how he was, he asked if I wanted to meet, fast forward to:


I wasn't up for meeting him that Sunday night. He text me:  It will be hard to wait until tomorrow... I wanted to kiss you everywhere, to lick you everywhere...


Well, that's one thing he didn't lie about. I said I could meet him halfway, that I wasn't going to Bushwick etc. especially if it's late. He suggested brunch on Monday because that's his day off. I was game thinking it'd be at a restaurant. He text: We can have brunch at my place, I'm a cook, remember... Yes, i will pay for your cabs.. (I told him I wasn't taking the train out there). He asked me if I "prefer a shaved face or not". I told him I like facial hair to which he responded: So, I don't shave...

The Sandwich Bar - Take Two

The Sandwich Bar is Native Creative Concierge™ approved.

I made a second visit to The Sandwich Bar in Astoria recently. When the manager first told me about the restaurant that presents a "new concept in sandwiches", I was intrigued to say the least. When I expressed my love of meats he said I'd be a fool not to try The Sandwich Bar.

So I did.

Braised Brisket Grilled Cheese, Spicy Mayo, Yellow Cheddar and Provolone

Timing is Everything

Back in the Saddle

"Imagine if that had happened five minutes earlier," he said to me. My eyes widened as I considered the possibility.


5 minutes earlier, I was on all fours. He was on his knees behind me making a ruckus. I hushed him and told him to stop slapping my ass because the sound was reverberating off the bridge nearby and would attract attention. He bent over, resting his torso on my back and whispered his raunchy comments and commands in to my ear.


We sat in the field with the majority of our clothes back in place. My fuck buddy or Fuddy, sat to my left. We made small talk enjoying the breeze against our skin that remained exposed. I showed him something on my phone and happened to look to my right and could make out a figure in the dark approaching at a high rate of speed. Not a five or six foot human form -- but a small furry figure only a few inches tall -- hurtling towards me in the grass. My mind barely processed what was happening. I exhaled and screamed while scrambling over my belongings and Fuddy. All the while I was bracing myself for the brush of fur or a bite.

La Marina - Bar, Lounge, Beach

The view of the George Washington Bridge from La Marina in NYC

New York City has 538 miles of coastline. La Marina is an option to soak some of it in... drink in hand.


La Marina is an outdoor bar, restaurant and lounge on the Hudson River. Cross street: Dyckman. I was there recently for drinks to celebrate a near and dear friend's birthday. I was in my usual "observer mode" and would describe La Marina as a beach lounge exuding the energy of the Meatpacking District with a tropical vibe. No cobblestones made for a safer stride for the women in stilettos. Many of them pulled up in cars and handed over the keys for valet parking. I took the A train to Dyckman-200th Street and hoofed it over.

NYC: Boozy Treats Tour 2013

Boozy Treats Tour presented by Native Creative Concierge

Since June, I've been running the Boozy Treats Tour. I take groups of 5 or less through the East Village and the Lower East Side (LES) making stops at local businesses for treats. The connection? They're all made with alcohol!


Things simply made sense for this kind of walking food tour. The East Village and LES both have a history "full of alcohol" -- they're littered with speakeasies and Prohibition-era happenings, organized crime and New York flavor. I launched the Boozy Treats Tour through an offer with Time Out NY. There are still tours available for bookings through September 2013. So far, I've had a mix of New Yorkers and visitors, grad students to chefs alike. It's been fun for me learning new tidbits about the area to share with the Boozy Treats "Tourists" and sharing my personal connection to many places we pass along the way (St. Mark's Hotel, Babeland, Verlaine, Clinton St. Baking Co, inoteca etc).

He Made Me Do It

Back in the Saddle

I had an intensely charged encounter with a gorgeous man. We got as far as fingers and mouths. Lucky to even get that far, we continuously reminded ourselves not to get our hopes up. It quickly became our inside joke. We were parting ways when he told me he wanted me to email him what would happen the next time we saw one another. I protested that he was giving me homework and I didn't like it. He told me to include pics to help get my story across. I chuckled to myself because he had no clue what I could do with only words. What if I don't write it I asked. He didn't have a definitive response.

"No punishment?" I asked. 

Armed and Protected

Back in the Saddle

My current condom stash with your occasional lube thrown in

I'm a condom-carrying member of the sexually active.


As I packed my bag before heading out for the night, I made sure my chapstick and lotion were accounted for, business cards and gum, threw out old receipts and flyers and made sure I had regular and extra large condoms, lubricated and not or ultra sensitive as Lifestyles like to call theirs. I also throw a couple Durex in there to give my Europeans a piece of home. The signature Magnum gold is a given. I haven't mastered female condoms yet (those things are slippery!) so I leave those home for now. I carry condoms in the same compartment with my pads and tampons. Just makes sense to me to keep all the Kitty products together.


Since I started having sex, I've always carried condoms. During my recent drought, my condoms taunted me in my bag, but they stayed put. I remember the sideways comment an ex made about why I was still carrying them even though we were together. "Dude, because we're fucking," I wanted to say but the young Abigail just screwed up her face and rolled her eyes.

Back In The Saddle

Back in the Saddle

How many of you remember this post: Random Musings on Empty Vaginas? Yes, that was a long time ago. The struggle was real. There were fits and starts.


The struggle is over.


In true life fashion, resuming relations with men has come with its fair share of blog-worthy, smile-inducing, cringe-worthy, WTF and oh, Oh, OH! moments.


On my HowAboutWe profile, I answered the question -- For me, a first date no-no is: with "giving me something to blog about instead of something to text my friend about". Oh, my adventures have consisted of both.

One Woman's Struggle with Celibacy.

How I got My Groove Back.

She's Gotta Have It... and How She's Getting It.

(Pick a subtitle... any will do)


I will share those tales and lessons in my Back in the Saddle series. I may not have the life years under my belt that Sophia Petrillo has but I've got anecdotes for days. Picture it...

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Ask Abbie: Just A Little Cunnilingus Between Friends

Hungry For Kitty Asks:

Without getting into too much detail, I want to ask a good acquaintance if I can give her oral sex. We are both massage therapists that met in class and have traded sessions on and off for the last 3 years. I am not interested in receiving anything in return, just want to take my time and satisfy her. I want this to be a one time thing with NO emotional effects. It is always hard to tell if there is a mutual attraction but I will say that we are both good looking people.


The kicker, I have been in a relationship for 3+ years with a girl who has been going through a lot the last year and a half. We do not have a sex life. She will go down on me every so often but that is basically it. I haven't seen her totally naked in more than a year. I do enjoy performing oral sex and miss it a lot. My g/f is from out of state so does go home to visit family and she gave me a hall pass before. I did not do anything during that time and we have never discussed it further.


Now the girl I want to give oral to is the only person I told about the "sex life" I have been experiencing. No one else. So she has sympathized with me on it. So I feel she will have an understanding of where I am coming from. But again, I don't want an emotional strings and want to make that clear to her as well. I just want it to be strictly physical and not ruin what we have. It is basically her helping me and getting oral in return.

How should I go about this? Any advice will be appreciated.

Ask Abbie: Kidult Daugther Moved Back Home

Dad Asks:

Hi I am a middle aged man recently had my daughter (adult) show up on my doorstep. She wants to live with me because it will be cheap and convenient while she goes to grad school. If you have upfront advice can help. And maybe ongoing need.

Thanks Dad

Ask Abbie: You Say He's Just A Friend

Am I More Than A Friend Asks:

I'm a well established young woman with an ok job, good man and decent social life. I've always prided myself in keeping good company and my current closest friend Paul defines that. He's great to hang out with, chat on the phone, and comforts or cheers me up when needed. Sounds great doesn't it?

I should be happy but I feel guilty. The other day I had an issue at work and as soon as I got home, I called Paul. Not my boyfriend. Paul. I'm starting to feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I don't sneak around with Paul, and nothing's happened but I rarely bring up my convos with Paul to my boyfriend (sometimes he doesn't even know what's going on). I love my boyfriend and we talk, emote, communicate, etc all the time but I still don't have with him what I have with Paul. Did I kid myself into thinking I could be platonic with a man? Should I have expected this?

Ask Abbie: Is Being a Single Father That Much of a Turn off?

Single Father Asks:

Hi there,

To tell you the truth, i ask myself daily, what is it about the mention of kids, people just up and run from me?

I look around, and i know quite a few guys out there that have children and refuse to care for them, but yet i see all of these guys dating and not caring for anyone but themselves.

I guess it just really bothers me that a man such as myself, has a job, pays my bills, takes responsibility for his actions, and takes care of his children is just frequently ignored by the fairer sex.

I only have my children Friday night thru Sunday night every week, and the rest of the week i just go thru the motions. Is it really that important that a Friday night and Saturday night be an available option when dating? Can't something like this be overlooked? There are so many confusing things when it comes to dating and being a father, and i just dont get any of it..

Can you enlighten me?

Ask Abbie: Managing Bursitis of the Knee

Bursitis-Of-the-Knee-on-the-Brain Asks:

I have bursitis/ inflammation in my right knee. It's painful, but for now the doctor recommends basic exercises to strengthen hamstrings and quadriceps, stretching, and anti-inflammation meds. I just hired a new trainer to help me lose about 15lbs and tighten up. What precautions should I take regarding my knee to avoid further injury?

S'MACdown: S'MAC Mac-n-Cheese Competition

Beginning on May 6, macaroni and cheese lovers, aficionados and self-professed professionals were given the opportunity to share their creations in a S'MACdown sponsored by S'MAC.


Competitors were allowed to create any mac & cheese dish -- no ingredient off limits. 2 out of the 4 finalists choose bacon (the bacon craze doesn't seem to be losing steam just yet).


The live judging event took place on  May 19 at the Murray Hill S'MAC location. The panel of judges included S'MAC owner Sarita Ekya, Barbara Rich, consulting chef for S'MAC, and Tom Birchard, owner of Veselka who tasted and deliberated over the four finalist creations.

Speed Rack USA Women's Finals for Breast Cancer

On May 16, Speed Rack USA held the finals of the women's bartending competition in New York. It was a fundraising event with 100% of the proceeds going to breast cancer research and education. My good friend, Glendaliz Camacho works for SHARE, a beneficiary of the funds raised at the event.

Ask Abbie: In Love With Another Woman

In Love With Another Woman Asks:

I am turning 52 this month. I've been happily married for nearly 25 years, we have three kids, the youngest of whom is 14, the oldest in college. I work at home, and several years ago, with my wife's full knowledge and consent, I hired a friend of ours, a mom I'll call Karen, to help me with my business. We got along fine, it was good for my business, a strictly working relationship, and she left after about 2 years to take a full time job.

She was a friend to both of ours, and she still came over often after her job ended, our kids were pals, etc. We walked dogs together. On one of these walks, she gave me a letter, asking me to read it later. When I did, it told me that she loved me, but she knew I was married, and that she couldn't keep relating to me the same way. We could no longer be friends.

The problem is, I'd fallen in love with her as well. I rushed to her and told her so. We spent a month talking tearfully back and forth before my wife found out. She was outraged, naturally, and I stopped all communication with Karen.

Ask Abbie: Losing Her To Her Work

Mr. Second To Her Career Asks:

So I have been dating this girl for a little over a year now. Things were great until her career started consuming her life and distancing her from me. Now, don't get me wrong, I want her to be successful but I feel neglected. I don't hear from her for extended periods of time, sometimes days. When I do hear from her all she really says is she is busy with work or to ask me to do something for her. At this point I feel like an unpaid intern on call 24 hours a day, rearranging my personal life to preform menial tasks for someone else for no compensation. 

Overexposed (NSFW)

Every once in a while what looks like a loss can be turned into a gem.

Overexposed.

NSFW images after the jump.

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Ask Abbie: A Matter of Black And White and Ego

White Guy With Black Girl Issue Asks:

So I've been working closely with a beautiful black woman for the past couple of months. Drive her home, take her out for food and drink a couple times, turn my game up to full power, get her in a hotel (sorry she is married and I knew and didn't care. Whole nother issue). Lucky for me it seems I'm one of the white guys with a big fat dick, know what I want and, know how to give it. It's a big secret, so no one knows and, the other day I overhear her with other black coworkers talking about how she would "never fuck wit a white boy". Blah blah except this one white guy, hot, movie star or someone. I'm pissed but, more than pissed I'm hurt. Hung out one night shortly after and admittingly I was not myself, got out, got distracted but, still looking to rationally state my case to her.


For some reason I'd like to continue our relationship (probably those hips and lips) but, I really want her to understand what she did and why it was wrong, or am I wrong?